


The Bond That Can't Be Broken

by psychicdreams



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: AU, Drama, Early Season 4, M/M, Romance, love spells, magic spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:15:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicdreams/pseuds/psychicdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana knew that she could enchant Gwen to make it appear as if she betrayed Arthur, but there was a good chance that wouldn't stop her from eventually becoming queen. For that she had to enchant Arthur, and she knew just the spell that would do it.</p><p>However, the consequences of her actions would have great repercussions later she did not realize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So set at the beginning-ish of Season 4. I don't expect this will be a long story, but the idea came to me this morning and I had to at least start it. Hopefully someone will enjoy the story like I am :)
> 
> My birthday gift for me and you :D

The vision would not leave her. Morgana could not sleep because of it and it haunted even her waking hours. Her servant would be Queen? A throne that was rightfully hers and yet it would be stolen by someone she had once considered her greatest friend! She had been betrayed by all and she would not have them prosper for it.

No, but what could she do? There was that handsome knight of Arthur’s that Gwen was so fond of. She could certainly create an image of it, use her magic to confuse her. Yet Morgana realized the flaw of the plan almost immediately. Arthur, noble as he was, would forgive her. Even if he was angry, enraged beyond reason, it would cool and he would welcome her back. And even if he didn’t, there was no stopping him from choosing another woman instead, not to mention the likelihood of children.

Placing an enchantment on Gwen was not the answer. It would only be a temporary measure, a postponement rather than an end. So Arthur would have to be her target. He would have to willingly break it off with Gwen and there would be no wedding. And if she could twist his affections, make him fall for someone of her choosing…

The easiest would be herself, but her skin crawled at the thought of marrying her half-brother and not just because they shared some blood connection with him. As if that wasn’t enough in itself, the entire kingdom knew of her actions and how he felt about her. It would be obvious that he was enchanted. It would have to be someone else, someone that would pose no threat to her.

She paced and paced, biting at her fingernails as she thought of name after name and discarded them. It could be no one important, but choosing a commoner wouldn’t help either. To make it obvious there was no enchantment, it would have to be someone close to him, someone everyone knew--

Morgana smiled and began to laugh as the perfect person floated to mind. It would be irony in itself and might even cause Arthur to lose his throne entirely without her having to lift a finger besides this. And it had the added value of causing her great delight at the thought. Time to get what she needed, she almost couldn’t wait, giddy like a child.

  


~*~

  


Something was off, he knew it. The moment Merlin opened his eyes, he could sense it...but he didn’t know what it was. It wasn’t anything obvious. He looked around the room, but nothing was out of place and he appeared the same as when he went to sleep. His senses were not dulled and he could still feel his magic simmering at his fingertips...but he just felt slightly different.

After the years he had been Arthur’s manservant, Merlin had learned not to take anything for granted. Morgana was still out there with her eyes trained on Arthur and then there were a number of other foes he’d rather not think about. ...But none of them knew about his magic. Hardly any had realized that it was he that foiled their plans. Why would one of Arthur’s enemies care about him? To them, he was a gnat.

Maybe it was just something simple. Or maybe it was all in his imagination. Merlin didn’t really believe the last one, but he wanted to. Gaius seemed normal, breakfast was its normal affair, and there were no enemies waiting at the door. The sky was a clear, crystal blue and for the life of him, nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary.

Trying to shake it off, trying to tell himself that it was possibly just remnants from a dream that he didn’t remember, Merlin jogged down the stairs to the kitchen. He was a few minutes late for the king’s breakfast, but he knew Arthur wouldn’t be up yet. He’d never seen that lazy man up before him.

And his prediction held true. His charge was still asleep, much to his both annoyance and delight. The only time he got to have any fun with Arthur was waking him up. He tried to think of a fun prank he could pull, but his nerves were still off from the morning and instead, he just settled on talking very loudly and hoping that the king had a hangover.

“Get up, Arthur!” he said, setting the tray down noisily on the table and throwing open the curtains with gusto. “Never heard of a king so lazy before!”

“Merlin...” was growled from the bed and he turned around with a bright grin that faded a bit. Arthur’s eyes were half-open and he was staring at him almost like he were breakfast. He had pushed himself to elbows and it was then that he realized the man had no shirt on.

“T-Time to get up,” he said, managing to stutter only once. Something about that look made his stomach flip, his heart start to pound, and he couldn’t recall having ever seen it before. A little shaken, both at Arthur’s expression and his own reaction to it, he turned quickly and went to the wardrobe.

He heard the creak of the bed and the slap of Arthur’s bare feet against the stone floor. The heat of his body came so close to his back, but there wasn’t a pause. Merlin felt the king’s shoulder lightly brush his back and he watched as Arthur all but flopped into the chair in front of his breakfast. Sure, Arthur was never usually full of energy when he woke up, but he was never this lethargic.

“Something wrong?” he asked, eyes narrowing. “I thought idiots never got sick.”

“Ha. Ha.” Arthur dropped his head in his hands. “I feel like I spent the last half a day drinking. My head is pounding.”

“Oh. Then your hangover is your fault!” he added, deliberately speaking louder and watching his charge wince.

“Shut up, Merlin! I didn’t have a drop yesterday.” He picked up the fork and poked at the food on the table, but didn’t eat it.

Alarm bells went off in his head. When anything unusual happened to Arthur, it was usually something more than just an odd occurrence. Sometimes even something innocuous was bad and it had made Merlin very, very paranoid. He stepped forward, putting his hand on his friend’s head the way his mother had done to him to tell if he had a fever. “Your temperature seems normal,” he muttered, only belatedly realizing that Arthur had become very still under his hand. “What’s the matter?”

“...Nothing. Your hand is just very calming.”

“...It is?” he said incredulously. Arthur complimenting him meant either one of them was dying or the world was ending. This was not good. “Finish your breakfast,” he muttered, ignoring the blue eyes that were watching him and heading for the door. He had to talk to Gaius and fast.

But the physician was gone by the time he’d run all the way back to his room. Damn the man, were going out and fetching herbs from the nearby fields that important right then? It would take far too long to find him and he couldn’t leave Arthur’s side if something really was going on. The closer he was, the more likely he could stop something from happening.

At first he tried to just follow behind casually, hoping Arthur wouldn’t notice. He hung around the doors when the king held court, only hurrying behind a nearby corner when he heard the sounds of chairs scraping along the floor.

Arthur was the last one from the room and he tried to follow stealthily behind. Percival spotted him and he quickly gestured for quiet. The big man just shook his head and Merlin hoped he’d chalked it up to ‘antics’ and let it go. It had given his king a head start and he hurried to catch up, only to turn to the corner and find Arthur was gone. A frantic sensation hit him and he peered out the window, but the courtyard was empty of kings. Where had he gone? What if someone had kidnapped him by magic? What if--

His almost run down the corridor was abruptly halted as hands grabbed at him and yanked him into an empty room. He stumbled forward, only to get pulled back and pinned to the wall. His magic surged and he barely managed to restrain it when he saw it was Arthur. “Arthur, what the—”

“There a reason you’re following me around like that, Merlin?”

Oh. Maybe he wasn’t as subtle as he thought he was.

“N-No reason.”

Arthur rolled his beautiful blue eyes at him in annoyance. ...Wait, did he just think beautiful? Now that he was closer to him, he began to realize that his heart was racing for an entirely different reason. They were too close to each other without a danger present.

An evil smirk crossed Arthur’s face. “I didn’t know that you were feeling neglected. I haven’t paid you any attention at all.”

Oh no. Dread welled up in him. Usually that meant chores or something worse.

“As an apology, you can stick by me all day. Carrying anything I need. Doing anything I require. And as I’m about to spar with the knights, you can be there and polish all my armor.”

Well...it wasn’t as bad as he feared. He wasn’t mucking out the stables and it worked in his favor. That way he could keep an eye on Arthur all day and it soothed that paranoid ache in his chest. “I suppose your wish is my command, sire,” he pretended to sound grudging, just so that Arthur didn’t think he wanted to do it.

Somehow his friend didn’t seem fooled.

He waited, but Arthur remained, staring at his face in a very unnerving way. It made his stomach flip again and it was terribly hard to break eye contact. “W-Well? Are we going or not?”

As if snapped out of a trance, Arthur blinked and stepped away quickly. “Of course.”

The walk there wasn’t terribly long, but it didn’t seem as if either of them were in any hurry. The silence between them wasn’t tense and unpleasant, but comforting. It amazed him after this long, these many years, his initial dislike of Arthur had been replaced with a deep friendship. He’d do anything for him.

As they reached the field, he couldn’t tell whose arm shifted just slightly and their knuckles brushed against each other. While the king seemed to give no indication that he felt it, Merlin had to flex his fingers from a strange tingling sensation. What was that? He quickly turned to the armor set on the nearby table, missing Arthur’s look back at him.

The midday sun was brutal and there was almost no wind. It didn’t take long for all of the knights to strip down to just their shirts, or in some cases, like Percival, no shirt at all. Merlin would have liked to say the reason the polishing was taking so long was that he was taking his time to make it perfect, but the truth was, he was fascinated watching the knights fight. With his magic, he had no need of swordplay, not that Arthur had given up on teaching him, but he admired the skill of those that did.

He lost track of time, not realizing that he’d been mostly just staring until a shadow fell over him and he blinked. Arthur’s shirt was damp with sweat, clinging to him and his hands were on his hips. “Won again, I see,” he said, feeling awkward that he was caught.

“Of course. And I see you haven’t finished.”

Merlin pouted. “I only didn’t finish two.”

The king rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his lips. He waved off the other knights. “Get the armor back in the barracks and finish there, out of the sun.”

It took him three trips to bring the excessive pile of weapons and armors back into the barracks. Arthur hadn’t even used half of them, why had he had them all brought out? With a grumble, he dropped onto a bench and sighed as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room after the brightness of the sun. Arthur was still there, surprisingly, and he watched as the king dropped down on the same bench, his elbows on the table behind him.

“What did you say a few days ago? A king’s work is never done?” Merlin half-taunted, scrubbing at a shield.

“It isn’t.”

“Then what are you still doing here?”

“I like to sit in the quiet sometimes.”

He could understand that. Sometimes even Merlin became overwhelmed at times at the sheer organized chaos of running a castle and a kingdom, and he was only a manservant. Arthur had all the responsibility on his shoulders. Then again, he had his own just trying to keep the king alive. Even when he wasn’t trying to find trouble, it seemed to gravitate toward him.

Merlin finished the shield and set it on the table, grabbing the remaining gauntlet to polish it in the silence. It was that comfortable silence of earlier as they walked, where the noise of the world hadn’t really penetrated. Sometimes they’d have moments like that and Merlin felt the bond between them. He could fool himself into thinking that Arthur knew everything about him and just accepted him as he was.

But he didn’t. He didn’t know about Merlin’s magic.

“Merlin.”

His name jogged him out of his thoughts and he looked up just in time to see Arthur lean forward. Their lips crashed together, the rough, callused hand of the king diving into Merlin’s black hair. He squeaked in shock, told himself to pull away only for him to lean in instead and kiss back just as fervently.

It felt right. Nothing in his life had felt like that moment, where he felt a moment of peace. He gasped a little and Arthur’s tongue took that as an invitation. The kiss deepened and Merlin couldn’t tell if he scooted forward or the king dragged him closer. The gauntlet in his lap fell to the floor with a clang, but neither of them paid it any mind.

He braced himself on his knees on the thin bench on either side of Arthur’s hips as their kiss broke only for the briefest moments before they crashed together again. That hand left his hair and gripped Merlin’s hips, pulling him closer. It felt perfect...and that’s what scared Merlin. He pulled back from a kiss he’d lost count of and Arthur’s lips attacked his throat, leaving little bites and kisses behind.

“Why...are we doing this?”

Arthur’s question was almost lost in the haze in Merlin’s mind. It was getting worse, leaving only that small kernel of fear to keep him grounded. “I don’t know,” he moaned and it was only when their hips ground together and he felt their combined arousal that drew on all his magic to clear his mind. His hands gripped the table behind Arthur tightly and he all but yelled, “Arthur, stop!”

The word was powered by magic, but it was almost lost in the power it came up against. It had to be magic causing them to do this, and it felt ancient, almost beyond his capability to manage. But it was enough. Arthur had frozen beneath him, slowly pulling back from his throat. Those stunning blue eyes were wide in shock. “Merlin, I… I’m sorry, I don’t...know what...came over me.”

This was serious and he had to get them to Gaius. He just hoped his magic could hold out to get them there, because he could feel it on the edge of his senses. As soon as it broke, they’d be at each other again. “We’ve got to get to Gaius,” he panted.

“R-Right.” There was a moment’s pause. “You...have to move...first.”

“I can’t,” he said through gritted teeth. His willpower was failing to move away from the compromising position. “You’ll have to push me off.”

Arthur growled heatedly. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Try at least!”

The hands on his hips gripped tighter and he felt himself being pushed off Arthur, but the moment shook his concentration and he stumbled back against the wall, the king following, and they were kissing again like he was dying of thirst. It felt so good, beyond words, that for a moment, he forgot why they were fighting this. Arthur’s hands were on his thighs, gripping them tightly, almost lifting him off the ground before he grasped his magic again.

Their frantic kiss ended much more gradually this time and he was stunned to realize that even though he was holding the spell at bay, he liked the soft, gentle sensation of Arthur’s lips. He wasn’t keen to break it of his own accord this time and it didn’t seem as if Arthur was either because it continued. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment and he didn’t know if the whimper came from him or the king. It broke the gentle kiss and he panted, that kernel of fear growing strong. Magic was at work, strong magic...but was magic the only thing?

“Need...Gaius,” he grunted and Arthur nodded grimly.

It took more effort on both their parts than it should to separate and Merlin led the way through mostly unused hallways. If his magic failed again, he didn’t want to get caught being pinned to the wall by the king in front of everyone, particularly Gwen.

Near the end, as they reached the door, his magic shuddered and that was enough of an opening. They crashed through the door, Arthur kicking it shut, and they stumbled into the room. The sound of crashing pottery hit his ears, but he didn’t care. The king had pinned him to the table, knocking everything down, and he lost himself in the sensations again, wrapping his arms around the broad, muscled shoulders.

“Merlin?!”

Gaius’ voice was probably what saved them. Arthur’s hands had pushed up Merlin’s shirt and he had nestled himself between his legs as if it was perfectly right and he belonged there. With a groan of both frustration and arousal, he pushed the spell at bay once more and Arthur slumped over him, panting. “Whatever this is...”

He craned his neck around to spot his teacher and he wasn’t sure if the expression on his face was horror or amusement. “G-Gaius, something is wrong with us. It’s a spell.”

Horror won out. “What?!”

“It’s taking all I have to just hold it at bay. If I don’t, well...”

“I rip his clothes off and you can guess what happens from there,” Arthur growled and then paused. “Wait, what do you mean—”

Before Merlin could figure out an excuse, Gaius was striding over purposefully and took the decision out of his hands. “Merlin is a sorcerer, Your Highness. He’s been using his magic to save your life on more than one occasion.”

He couldn’t meet the shocked stare of Arthur and he attributed it to sheer willpower that the king pulled away from him entirely. “You’re—”

“Trying to help us!” he spat. He couldn’t tell if it was because of the spell or his own feelings that he felt upset at the distance between them. Merlin knew that Arthur couldn’t make it out the door, but he was looking at him like he was a—

Deciding not to finish the thought, Merlin turned to Gaius. “It’s old and it’s powerful, Gaius. I can barely hold it at bay.”

“You knew,” Arthur accused Gaius with a hiss and a glare.

“Yes, and you should sit down before this gets worse,” the old man snapped at the king, understanding the seriousness of the situation immediately. “When did it start?”

“A few minutes ago down in the barracks, but it’s been strange all day. I woke up feeling something different, but I couldn’t tell what and then Arthur said his head hurt like he had a hangover this morning.”

Though Arthur attempted to back away, Gaius cornered him and looked deeply into his eyes. “I’d say the force of the spell was meant for the king, but it was using you as well.”

“I don’t know what this is, Gaius, but we’ve got to fix it quickly. Arthur and I can’t be away from each other. It’s like a pull, like I can barely stop myself from going over there to him. If we were out in public and my magic failed...”

“This is a problem and I’ve never heard of anything like this, Merlin.”

He gasped as he felt his magic falter and if Gaius hadn’t been standing right in front of Arthur, the king would have landed against him instead of the physician. “Sorry, Arthur,” he muttered, and used his magic to push the king further away in the small room.

“I’ll go get the knights. We can’t do this alone. Can you handle him, Merlin?”

“...Yeah.” Gaius looked at him in concern, but Merlin waved him off. Even if his magic failed and the spell took over, he knew he would enjoy it and that was scary in itself because he didn’t know if it that would be from the spell or his own feelings.

“You’re an enchanter.”

“I never used it on you...except once or twice to save your life,” he was forced to admit. “This is my last secret, Arthur. I was born like this. I breathe magic. It’s like my very existence.”

“You lied to me...all this time.”

“I didn’t have a choice. And I wanted to tell you. I wanted to trust you, but...I wasn’t sure I could.”

Arthur turned his head away. “I thought I knew you,” he said resentfully.

“I’m still the same person.”

“...And I trusted you. But you couldn’t trust me.”

“I’m sorry, Arthur...but you don’t know what it’s like having to hide what you are.” He looked at the ground. “I guess...it makes you a coward after awhile.”

Arthur made a scoffing sound. It was an excuse, but what else could he do? “I do this because of who you are. Without you, Camelot’s nothing.”

“That’s not true anymore and you know it.”

“There will never be another like you, Arthur,” he said with pure conviction. “And you’re my friend, Arthur. I don’t want to lose you. Would you do any different?”

There was a long pause in which Merlin contemplated whether his friendship had been destroyed. “...I don’t know what to do now.”

“This is the position,” he murmured, “that I didn’t want to put you in.”

He could feel Arthur’s eyes now and he risked glancing up to see the stunned look on the king’s face. “That’s what worried you?”

Merlin sighed. “Some men are born to plow fields. Some live to be great physicians, others…to be great kings. Me? I was born to serve you, Arthur. And I’m proud of that and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

It was like Arthur couldn’t figure out what to say to that, but at least this time, the silence didn’t hurt as much. “Think...you could let me go?”

He looked over at Arthur and allowed the magic holding him against the wall to release. The king stumbled and took slow steps to sit in a chair next to the table. “Think that’s wise?” he asked, nodding at their close proximity.

“I can’t sit anywhere else,” Arthur answered, not looking at him, and Merlin understood. The spell was still buffeting them and the room was small. Arthur twitched, hand resting on the table and every time it shifted, it came closer until his knuckles brushed the outside of Merlin’s thigh.

Gaius’ presence saved them. “They’ll be here shortly.”

“I don’t see what the knights have to do with this,” the blonde-haired man grumbled.

“For one thing, Arthur, they’re stronger than I am. If Merlin’s magic falters again, they can pull you apart,” the physician replied, grabbing several books from his bookshelf. “And they can help us at least look for answers before the entire castle knows of your ‘love affair’.”

“It isn’t a love affair!”

“What isn’t a love affair?”

Gwaine’s interruption was welcomed as the four knights entered the room and closed the door. “Gaius said you needed to see us?” Leon prompted.

Before they could explain, Merlin felt the surge from the magic and overwhelmed him for a moment. Arthur was out of the chair in an instant just as Gaius yelled, “Stop them!”

Their lips met in the briefest clash of passion before hands yanked Arthur back. Merlin instinctively moved to follow, but strong arms around his waist held him back. “Whoa, what is all this?!” Gwaine demanded.

Merlin used the knight’s grip on him as a steadying force, ignoring Arthur’s jealous yell to get his hands off him. He’d never had to use magic so extensively before, hold it in place like that and his knees gave out on him as his magic use was exhausting him.

Percival and Leon had Arthur’s arms behind his back, but the fight went out of the king as soon as Merlin had firmed his spell again. “Merlin? Merlin!”

“Yeah, I hear you,” he complained, letting a befuddled Gwaine hold all his weight.

“They’re enchanted by some very powerful magic,” Gaius explained. “Merlin’s own magic is barely holding it back. You can see what happens if his attention is shaken.”

“But—”

“If this isn’t stopped, I’ll end up taking Merlin to my bed whether either of us truly want it or not,” Arthur spat. “And I will not do that.”

“You won’t have a choice,” Merlin told him. All the attention was on him and he sighed. “I’ll...try to explain. The magic feels...old. It’s ancient, I’ve never felt anything like it before. If I didn’t hold it back, we’d be in his bed...and we’d probably enjoy it. We want it without my magic to stop it. And I don’t know if I can do that. I’m just holding it at bay. Whoever did this, didn’t do it of their own power, not entirely. Whether they knew it or not, they tapped into something older than even dragon magic.”

“What do you know about dragon magic?”

“Last dragonlord,” he mumbled to Arthur.

Arthur’s expression was not happy. “Oh, so magic was the ‘last’ secret, was it?”

“In comparison, it’s a tiny omission,” he shot back.

“Stop fighting,” Gaius ordered. “Merlin, concentrate on your magic. The rest of the people here will help me look through these books to find something about this.”

“Can’t we just separate them?” Elyan asked.

“No. Even the thought of being away from him hurts,” Arthur said, looking a bit embarrassed.

He managed to get his feet under him and Gwaine cautiously let him go. “If we can’t find anything today, the knights are going to have to keep us apart.”

“This probably isn’t a pleasant question, all things considered, but what happens if we can’t?” Gwaine asked seriously. “I mean, what happens after Arthur and you...if it happens.”

Merlin looked at Gaius, who looked even more worried at that. “I...don’t know. It’s not like I’ve been under a spell like this before. Let’s...try not to let it happen.”

It was harder said than done. His eyes kept straying to Arthur and most of the time his gaze was met. He wondered, not for the first time, if they should tell Gwen as well. Shouldn’t she know, as the future queen? If they reversed it, that was great and she didn’t have to know, but he didn’t think they could do that in a few hours.

After what felt like an eternity of silent page turning, Merlin couldn’t take it. “I’m going to talk to Kilgharrah, see if he knows what’s going on.”

“Who’s Kilgharrah?”

“A dragon,” he answered Leon.

“No, I forbid it!”

“Arthur, I’m a dragonlord and Kilgharrah won’t hurt me! I’ve talked top him plenty of times and if anyone can tell us more about this, it’s him!” He could tell that Arthur didn’t like that one bit and guessing what he was about to say, quickly added, “Alone.”

“Merlin!”

“Alone, Arthur!” It was when his anger wavered his concentration on the spell that he forced himself to calm down. He hadn’t wanted to bring it up, but he suggested, “I don’t want to be the one to mention this, but this might be because of Morgana. She wants the throne and if Arthur marries Gwen...”

“So you think she cast this spell on Arthur and you to prevent the wedding?” Percival asked.

“It’s...a possibility. I don’t want to think that she might have that much power, but what better way to prevent a wedding than have the king ‘fall in love’ with his male manservant? No wedding there.” He leaned back in his chair. “I just don’t see anyone else casting something so...specific.”

“I really hope you’re wrong,” Gwaine muttered.

“So do I,” he said grimly. He needed to talk to Kilgharrah fast.

  


  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally made up all the 'bond' stuff and what Merlin could do. He IS the greatest sorcerer ever born, so he should be able to do all that...right? ^^;;

Kilgharrah sat there looking at him for an inordinate amount of time, just watching him and he shifted awkwardly. He couldn’t help having a nervous twitch in his leg and his eyes kept wandering to the castle where he knew that Arthur was. It was almost greater than the compulsion to breathe to get back to him. “What is this, Kilgharrah? You have to know.”

“Well, you are right, young Warlock. That witch has indeed reached into a magic more ancient than anything on this earth, and one that should never be touched.”

“What is it?” he demanded impatiently.

“It is the magic of prophecy. A magic no longer practiced, but once it is formed, it is indestructible but not immutable. It can be twisted and turned, but never broken. That prophecy, your destiny, had always tied you to Arthur and he to you. Morgana Le Fey likely did not know of the prophecy and how it would interact.” Kilgharrah shook his head in wonder and studied Merlin with an even sharper eye. “None of your enemies thus far had attempted to curse both of you at the same time, so the bond between you remained unchanged. This is...something different entirely.”

“Can it be removed?” was his first question beyond anything else.

“The spell or the bond?”

“Both.”

“The bond can never be removed. A prophecy does not cease to be even after it has been completed. It is permanent...but not quite unchanging, as this has proven. The spell itself could have likely been removed with little trouble had it been anyone but you and Arthur Pendragon.

“I understand that the bond of prophecy is different, but how does that change removing the spell?”

For the first time since he’d met the dragon, he honestly didn’t seem to have an actual answer. Before he would speak in riddles, but Merlin had always been sure that he had the answers, he was just refusing to say it normally. But Kilgharrah was just shaking his head in amazement. “I do not know. The spell itself was designed to draw you two together, create a relationship between you, but the bond of prophecy had already done that. It may not have had any romantic tones, or even platonic before. Before it was merely a bond that tied your destiny, your fates together and meant that you were to work together. You were to be one side of the same coin.

“This has added something more earthly, more human to it. It is more emotion than the bond and it has absorbed it.”

“Absorbed it...” A feeling of dread welled in him.

“It does not mean that it cannot be reversed,” Kilgharrah seemed to hedge, “but I do not know how.”

Oh, his head hurt. What was this going to do to poor Gwen? “For the time being, at least, can we figure out how to lessen the effects? I can barely hold it in check!”

“Hold what in check?”

Damn him, Kilgharrah had to know what he was talking about! Merlin blushed a little. “You know! The… the s-spell and the...physical sensations it’s causing!”

The dragon reared on his haunches in surprise. “You are trying to hold back the bond?!”

“No, I’m trying to stop Arthur and I from ripping our clothes in the middle of the hallway and...and…! What did you think I meant?!”

“I had assumed—”

“You thought we found this out after we had...” He cleared his throat. “Well, no. We haven’t. And we’re trying not to, but unless I’m devoting my attention to completely to holding back the...urges thanks to the spell, we can’t even concentrate on anything but each other. I don’t even know if we did...you know… that it would stop even then!”

“I do not know, Merlin. This spell, even if it were removed, has twisted the bond. It is no longer what it once was.”

“Then...what is it now?”

“I do not know, Warlock, but I fear that young Gwen might find her heart broken in the end.”

That wasn’t right. It couldn’t be. “I refuse to believe that just because of this spell, that it’s suddenly inevitable that I’m in love with Arthur!”

“You were always in love with Arthur.”

“As a friend!” he argued heatedly. “I loved—no, love him as a friend!”

“You always had trouble with accepting destiny.”

“I’ll decide what’s destiny! I’ve changed things before, right? I can do it again! Now are you going to help me or not?!”

Kilgharrah shook his head, but agreed. “I will ponder on what I have seen of your bond and this spell and return here in a week.”

“A week?!”

“You cannot rush something as old and ancient as this is. And besides, you do not trust your friends to find the answer?” Kilgharrah launched into the sky, leaving Merlin to fume in frustration on the ground. He wouldn’t ruin Arthur’s life! He wouldn’t!

He turned, starting to walk back, when he felt the pull grow stronger and stronger, even though his magic hadn’t wavered. He knew that Arthur was coming, even though he’d told him not to. He listened, the sound of hoofbeats getting closer and he saw five red capes first. Even the knights?! Weren’t they supposed to be Arthur’s keepers until they could get this sorted out?!

The horse hadn’t even come to a stop before Arthur had all but jumped off. Before Merlin could berate him, the king had swung him up just a little in his arms and he whimpered into a deep kiss. It felt more of the need of comfort, than desire, and he didn’t have any real urge to stop it. Part of him was even disappointed when Percival separated them.

“I told you I was going alone!”

“You’ve been gone for hours!” Arthur argued back.

“What did the dragon say, Merlin?” Elyan interrupted, hoping to forestall another argument.

“You’re not going to like it,” Merlin said grimly and repeated what Kilgharrah had told him. Arthur’s face became darker the more he spoke and he threw up his arms and paced.

“So that’s it then, is it?”

“No, it isn’t it! I’m not letting this stand, Arthur. You and Gwen will be happy, I swear it.”

Arthur stared at him, as if he hadn’t expected such conviction. A gloved hand reached up and Merlin trusted the king too much to even flinch. The fingers gently cupped his cheek and for the first time since the ordeal began, the man smiled a little. “So that was a lie too, was it?”

“What was?”

“That you were an idiot. I really, really underestimated you.”

Merlin couldn’t help but smile back. “All part of my charm.”

“You have many charms, I’m learning.”

He flushed a little, watching as they slowly drifted closer until Gwaine gently nudged between them. “We need to get back to the palace. Gaius said he might have found something, something about a reversal?”

“Y-Yes,” Merlin said, a little shaken, because that hadn’t felt like the spell. That had felt like a genuine moment and he cursed that he had never told Arthur earlier about his magic.

  


~*~

  


The spell Gaius had found turned out to be useless once they realized that it could do nothing remove even one iota of it from the bond. The seven of them stayed up till night before they had to concede defeat for the day. As Gaius put away the books they had looked at and discarded, the knights stood by the door, watching the two of them.

Merlin watched Arthur cautiously, but his magic was stable. How it was going to work when he fell asleep, he didn’t know, but for right then, it almost felt back to normal. “Get a decent sleep, Arthur,” he advised.

“I want to stay with you. Is this because of the spell?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “Only you can determine that. If nothing else, we’ll find a way to lower the intensity. We have to, for you and Gwen.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?” he asked.

Arthur looked awkward and he coughed a little, the other people in the small room pretending they couldn’t hear them. “You…don’t mind the...intensity then?”

Merlin flushed as he realized the meaning that Arthur was getting at. “Oh, w-well, I… Let’s… Um...”

“Sleep,” the king suggested before it became even more awkward. “I’ll...see you in the morning then.”

“Y-Yes.”

When he and Gaius were alone, Merlin sighed and he felt his tension seep away a little bit. Did he not mind it? Maybe, maybe not. He didn’t really pay that much attention to how he felt about it, and more how it would impact Arthur and Gwen. He didn’t want to ruin their happiness with these...false emotions.

“Are you all right, Merlin?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered, even though he wasn’t sure he was, and headed to his room. He was almost afraid to go to sleep and what might happen, but he would be no good for Arthur if he didn’t. What could happen anyway? They had a massive castle in between them. He waited awake for a good hour and a half, hoping to let Arthur fall asleep first before he allowed himself to nod off.

Merlin woke almost feverishly three hours later, in the deep of night. As he had suspected, his magic had faded as he’d slept and he gripped the side of his bed, fighting the urge to leave his room. He could handle this...really. Besides, it could all be a dream, right? Maybe?

His door opening proved it wasn’t. Honestly, he wasn’t surprised to see Arthur there, or that he had managed to sneak past a sleeping Gaius, but how had he gotten past the knights? Surely at least one of them had been guarding the door of the king’s chambers!

“Merlin.”

He sighed as the king knelt on his bed, easing down next to him. In contrast to the slow movements of his body, the kiss was fierce and fiery. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“I’ve spent the last two hours awake and tossing and turning in my bed.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, feeling guilty. He should have stayed up, so that Arthur could have a more restful sleep.

“Don’t be sorry,” the king told him quietly, marking Merlin’s neck with his kisses. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I fell asleep and the spell—” He gasped when Arthur shifted to rest on top of him and he felt the man’s arousal against his own. Merlin kissed him deeply even though he knew he shouldn’t. He should be doing the spell, but Arthur looked almost agonized to be away from him, the spell running rampant through him for the last two hours before even his formidable will had broken.

Merlin fumbled his hand down between them and into the slim sleep pants that he wore, prompting his friend to jerk to a stop from kissing him. “Merlin, what—”

“For you,” he murmured, gripping him and gently stroking, watching curiously at the awed relief that passed over Arthur’s face.

“Merlin!” He felt, rather than saw in the darkened room what Arthur was going for and he tried to squirm away, but the bed was too small. “There,” Arthur whispered in his ear as he moaned quietly, feeling himself handled by a different hand than his own. “Sorry.”

“For?”

“I should be able...to resist more.”

Merlin shook his head quickly. How could Arthur be expected to resist when Morgana’s spell had hit him full force? He was the original intended target and Merlin had been her second. She wanted to stop Gwen from becoming queen, so she sought to twist his heart to someone else; Merlin just happened to be the person she picked. If Merlin was having a hard time resisting, how much worse must it be for Arthur?

But he couldn’t manage to get all those words out when pleasure increased and Arthur was whispering in his ear and they were kissing. They were important things he should be saying, but he would have to say them in the morning when he wasn’t so lost. “Arthur,” he moaned, running a hand down the bare back over him. His king had snuck out of his own room in nothing but his sleeping trousers to see him. How had he not been caught by the guards?

An arm slid underneath Merlin’s back and his head tilted back as Arthur buried his face in his neck. Close to his own peak, Merlin’s hand squeezed and moved faster and then their hips were thrusting too. It was a glorious mess and it was a wonder they managed to keep quiet and not wake Gaius. The pressure of the spell eased a little and Arthur moaned softly, rolling over to his side a bit. “Merlin,” he whispered hoarsely. “You...”

“It doesn’t have to have happened if you don’t want it to,” Merlin told him. He wouldn’t tell anyone that Arthur had come to him, that his will had broken. He knew that he should feel bad, but Merlin didn’t. It had been comforting, pleasurable, and much like their kissing, it had felt right and he couldn’t just attribute everything to the spell.

There was a long moment of silence before Arthur merely said, “Go to sleep, Merlin.”

He wanted to argue, but sleep claimed him before he could.

  


~*~

  


When he woke up, Arthur was gone. He sighed, but hadn’t expected anything else. At the very least, his bed was almost too small for him, much less another person as big as the king. Guess I got my answer, he thought and told himself that he wasn’t disappointed or relieved.

Breakfast was ready for him and he picked at his, not really hungry. Gaius watched him, but rather than answer the unasked question in the air, he said, “I’ve got to get Arthur’s breakfast. Are you…?”

“I have a few books I still need to check to confirm a thought I had last night.”

“What idea did you have?”

“I’ll tell you if I have anything to offer. Until then, I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

He was more subdued than usual as he gathered Arthur’s breakfast in the kitchen and brought it up. He kicked open the door, only to find that his charge was already dressed with the four knights around him. “I never thought I’d see the day that you were up before me,” he tried to joke.

Arthur didn’t smile though and merely shifted in his chair at the table. “Well, now that you’re here… Gaius stopped by about an hour ago, said he had something he wanted to look into, but I feel, in the interest of keeping things honest, some...developments occurred.”

He was mostly looking at the knights, but Merlin felt fear race up his spine. “What is it? Are you hurt? Do you feel any different? Did Morgana try another spell?”

Arthur looked at him awkwardly. “No, none of that. I was mostly...well...” He sighed and looked at the knights. “Last night, I got past Percival and went to Merlin’s room.”

Merlin went from worried to embarrassed so quickly that he had to put the tray down or he’d drop it. He was suddenly the focus of everyone’s attention and his cheeks turned bright red. It was Leon who politely cleared his throat and said, “And...did you...”

“In a manner of speaking. It was...by hand,” Arthur added delicately.

“And did it change anything?”

Thank everything for Percival’s stoic reaction. “Not as far as I can tell,” Merlin answered, his spell firmly in place since he’d opened his eyes that morning. “I’m still...barely...in control of the spell.”

“So we’ve determined, close as we can anyway, that if you took Merlin to your bed that it wouldn’t change anything,” Gwaine said grimly.

“That means we’re going to have to tell Gwen,” Arthur said with a sigh. “I’d hoped that maybe it wouldn’t have to be done, but there really isn’t much of a choice.”

“I’ll tell her--”

“No, let me,” the king interrupted Elyan. “It’s really my responsibility, in a way.”

Merlin watched as Arthur seemed to put himself together mentally and stride out of the room without even touching his food. It made him angry all over again that Morgana was playing with his friends like that. They might never be able to remove the spell, but what if he could block it? Surely he could do that, and start in parts.

“I’m going to try something,” he warned to Gwaine, who was nearest to him.

“Wait, what?”

“If I’m lucky, I might be able to fix at least some of this.”

“Shouldn’t we wait to hear what Gaius has to say?” Leon pointed out. “It seemed as if he might be on to something.”

“And what if he’s not?” Merlin argued. “I can’t let Morgana ruin what they have through me.”

“Merlin, it isn’t like that--” Percival tried to argue, but Merlin wasn’t listening. Instead he concentrated hard on the ancient magic that seemed to permeate the back of his mind and his senses, having grown much stronger since the night before.

At first it was like wandering around in a dense fog and he became lost. At first it scared him because there was nothing but the fog that seemed to be growing darker, but he almost felt Arthur’s presence. It was soothing and he headed toward it. It made the fog grow thicker, but the more he walked, the more comfortable he became. It was like being wrapped in a thick fur blanket after having been out in the snow for hours. Was that what it was like, having a bond between them? No matter what Kilgharrah had said, he had had such trouble viewing it as a magic that he could interact with.

But as he magically probed the fog, he felt the malice surrounding it. That was the spell that Morgana had cast. She wanted Arthur to fall for him, but she also wanted it to hurt him. Had she intended that Arthur fall for Merlin and Merlin was an afterthought? It would make sense, given the strength of the effect on the king and the less so with him. She wanted him to break it off with Gwen and fall for Merlin...and for Merlin to spurn him. But then...why had she cast any spell on him at all? Or couldn’t she trust that he might not...say no?

Whatever her original intention was, that was not how it had ended up. He could feel the way that the bond, twisted by the spell as it was, had twisted the outside influence right back. It had been drawn in, sublimated the spell into itself. In an almost fatal sense, Merlin knew that he couldn’t remove the spell. It had become part of the prophecy-bond, for good or ill. But it wasn’t sitting well.

Why? Kilgharrah had once said that Arthur could not hate him because they were part of the same coin, as he could not hate Arthur. It would be like hating oneself, so the hate of the spell kept it from fusing entirely. But what was it still doing there?

Merlin studied the bond more closely and his eyebrows rose to his hairline. The prophecy-bond was changing the spell, slowly but surely. It was a magic older Morgana, almost older than the earth itself. It was indestructible. The hate the Morgana had fused to it would have destroyed the bond; since it couldn’t be destroyed, that gave the bond the opportunity to...change it? There was so much that he was just guessing at, that he couldn’t comprehend.

Did that mean he couldn’t block it either? He couldn’t stop the magic that was pulling them together like that in that case...could he?

He would never know unless he tried. So he tried to gather up the new parts of the fog, the ones that looked darker than the rest, and he could feel the sheer heat from them. It felt something more than just the feeling of a comforting homecoming. He hoped to trap it in a magical bubble, perhaps, but it kept escaping, retreating.

He doggedly followed it, going farther and farther from where he was until he realized that he had managed to make the fog realize itself as a deep red road underneath him, like a taunt ribbon. This was… Merlin realized too late that he had followed the ever deepening sensations right against Arthur’s end of the bond. Did that mean that he was...near Arthur’s soul? Could he even...do that?

It was too widespread there to capture, to try to block in. Perhaps… Maybe Arthur’s feelings for him ran deeper than he thought they did. But he had to do...something. He didn’t come all this way to realize that there was nothing he could do.

The only thing that Merlin could think of to do was to mix the heavy, darker fog that contained Morgana’s spell into the lighter one of the prophecy-bond himself. Perhaps that would blunt the effects, the urges, and make them easier to hide. A sense of urgency had hit him and he quickened his pace, despite reluctant to leave the soothing embrace of Arthur’s side of the bond. He hurried back over the red ribbon that slowly changed color to blue. Was that his doing? Was his own mental interpretation formatting what he was seeing?

“--lin!”

Merlin jerked with a gasp, feeling as if he hadn’t had any air in his lungs for days. He coughed hard, deep ones that made his chest hurt, and realized then that he was being held tightly. “Merlin, damn you!”

He flopped back, looking up to realize that he was on the floor in Arthur’s arms, Gwen and the knights surrounding him. “Wha…?”

“What did you do?!”

“I tried...to fix it. We couldn’t remove it, Arthur. No dragon magic, nothing could have removed it. What Morgana originally tried to do would have destroyed the bond...but since it can’t be broken, it was changed. It absorbed it just like Kilgharrah said. I just tried to...make it better.”

“Make it better. What did you do, Merlin?!”

He struggled to sit up, but found his legs and arms were too shaky. “I mixed the new spell with the bond. It was like it was ‘sitting’ on top of the bond. It was being absorbed, but too slowly. I tried to hurry it along.” He frowned. “How did you know?”

“I felt something. I don’t know how, but I just had this feeling of...of… I don’t know, rummaging around or something.” Arthur was frowning even fiercer now. “You did something.”

“Of course I did, I told you--”

“No something more what you were trying to do.”

Merlin frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well I just...I knew you were in trouble.”

“In trouble? In what way?”

“Merlin, you collapsed into my arms,” Gwaine told him in concern. “You weren’t even breathing and your body was cold as ice. Princess got here almost instantly, just as you started to fall, like he knew you were in trouble.”

And on top of all that, he could still feel that simmering tension between them. It wasn’t like it was before, to the point that they’d rip off their clothes in the hallway, but enough that Merlin wasn’t sure it was wise for them to be alone in a room together.

“Great,” he muttered sarcastically, “Who gets to explain this to Gaius?”

  


  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to my sister!

“Of all the ridiculous things to do…!” Gaius spat, pacing in anger in the king’s chambers. “Merlin, how many times have I told you to think before you do something?! You couldn’t just wait until—”

“Gaius, it wouldn’t have mattered!” Merlin interrupted. “There was no way to remove it, trust me. I felt it, I was there!”

“You don’t know that! You yourself said you don’t know anything at all about this bond!”

It was Gwen that stepped in before the heated argument could get worse. “What Merlin did was dangerous, but there’s nothing we can do about it now, so let’s just move on, okay?”

Merlin glanced at Arthur sitting next to him at the table, looking pensive. His fingers shifted idly as he stared at seemingly nothing at all, but he doubted that the king missed anything of what they were talking about. Arthur hadn’t said a single word since he’d sat down an hour ago, but the more the argument went on between Merlin and Gaius, the more Merlin was somehow sure that the king was getting angry.

The question was at what. Was it Merlin for manipulating the bond, using such powerful magic? Was it because he knew that there was no way to remove the spell? But it was better, at least a little, right? They weren’t about to fall into each other, circumstances bedamned and… Surely that counted for something, right? So long as they never told Gwen about the previous night, she would never know that Arthur had ‘strayed’, even though no one could ever consider it his fault.

This was all because of him, Merlin thought in remorse. If he had been more careful with Morgana years ago or done things differently, this might not be an issue. Gaius and Kilgharrah kept telling him that he was a powerful sorcerer; if that was so, was it possible that he could use his magic to affect time…?

“Merlin.”

He jerked, pulled out of his contemplation by Arthur’s voice. “What?”

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re going to stop it right now. You’re only upsetting yourself.”

Merlin blinked. “How did…you know that?”

The pensive look faded a little as Arthur sighed and looked away. “You’re not exactly an enigma.”

Before he could continue the line of questioning, there was a timid knock on the door. Arthur cursed. “I completely forgot about the delegation from the east. We’ll have to continue this discussion later. And you!” Merlin flinched as Arthur pointed at him fiercely. “Don’t leave the castle and don’t do anything without consulting me or Gaius.”

“It’s my magic!”

“And it’s our lives. It’s not just your decision and that’s an order, Merlin!”

He watched as Arthur stalked out, the knights slowly following him and he slumped back in his chair with a sigh. He’d just tried to make things better, that was all, and everyone was mad at him for it. This had never been a problem when only he and Gaius knew about his magic. Honestly, he’d thought his friends knowing about his talents would bring him a sense of relief, not frustration.

A cool hand reached out to hold his and Merlin looked over at Gwen. “I didn’t even get to ask the knights how they felt about my magic,” he admitted. “Leon won’t come close to me.”

“Give them time. Besides, don’t we have bigger issues besides that?”

His fingers curled around hers, taking comfort in her words. “How do you feel about it?”

“I always knew you were different, Merlin. It honestly doesn’t surprise me at all and you’re still you, no matter what, as selfless as you ever were for your friends. We’re not mad at you for what you did, just worried about you.”

Merlin looked at Gaius, who nodded with a sigh, sitting down slowly and tiredly, as if his very bones ached. “What I looked up probably wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

“But what I did seems to have helped,” Merlin argued. “Right? I wasn’t sitting in Arthur’s lap and we were able to keep ourselves from touching without my magic.”

“At what cost, though, Merlin? We don’t know what else you might have changed by what you did. Also, you can understand why Arthur might be upset. What you did directly affects him as well and you didn’t even consult him.”

“I’ve never consulted him before and everything worked out fine.”

“He didn’t know about your magic then,” Gwen pointed out.

Speaking of that, hadn’t Arthur taken to his knowledge of Merlin’s magic too well? Was there something more at work there? He might be paranoid, but that didn’t mean that there was nothing to his concern. He could understand before why he might not have yelled and screamed at him, or worse, before he’d modified the spell just because of what the spell was, but why had he just sat there next to him without a word?

But Gwen was right. He shouldn’t make more problems right then. He should just be grateful, that was all.

~*~

  


Morgana’s dreams were nebulous, but upsetting and she didn’t know why. With her magic, she was better able to control her visions, but sometimes the most powerful ones slipped through. She didn’t know what happened in it, but she felt a sense of dread when she woke. Her spell had been successful, so she had stopped the wedding. She could feel it in her bones that the vision she had seen of Gwen on the throne would no longer come to pass, but instead of feeling pleased, she felt an even greater fear than she had before. It wasn’t just anger, but actual fear of this new future.

But no. She had forced Arthur to fall in love with his manservant and there would be no wedding. At the very least, there would be a scandal when it was found out, so what did she have to fear? Arthur would likely not even know he was enchanted or if he did, that it was her.

She had no reason to fear, she told herself, and tried to get some sleep.

  


~*~

  


Despite not wanting to, Merlin obeyed Arthur’s command to remain in the palace. It wasn’t as if Kilgharrah would have an answer for him after just two days if he’d said a week… Everything almost seemed back to normal, except when he slept. The moment he closed his eyes at night, it was as if he was wrapped up in that comforting fog he’d made his way through. It was fascinating and beyond all the talk of prophecy-bonds, what was truly great about it was just Arthur. No matter how angry the king became or how he acted, Merlin knew he had nothing but warmth in his heart for his people. He had been the only one in existence to be able to actually touch something that, if it wasn’t his soul, it was something very close to it.

He could spend the rest of his life pondering his admiration, but it disappeared by morning.

Yet as much as Merlin enjoyed his dream, the exploration of it, he feared that it wasn’t a dream. His magic was altogether too fond of Arthur. He couldn’t trust that his subconscious, in his sleep, had found its way back to the bond.

Merlin had decided, no matter how he felt about it, he would have to talk to Gaius that morning when the door opened and Arthur, complete in his armor, stalked in. “Get dressed, we’re leaving in ten minutes.”

Arthur? Up before Merlin?! “Leaving? Now?” He shared a bewildered glance with Gaius. “I haven’t even eaten yet.”

“Granted, you always have looked malnourished, but you’ll have to go without today. Hurry up, Merlin.”

As Arthur left, leaving Merlin fuming, he forgot what he had been about to talk to his mentor about. He didn’t even know why they were leaving, much less where they were going and honestly, what was Arthur’s problem? He was muttering under his breath as he jogged down the stairs to Arthur and the knights. All but the king were on their horses and Merlin opened his mouth to berate him for the early hour when he saw circles under his eyes. “Arthur--”

“Get on your horse, Merlin.”

“Did you sleep at all?” he continued, not caring about the clear indication that his friend didn’t want to talk about it.

“Some,” he admitted as he swung into the saddle. “Now on the horse, Merlin!”

He had barely settled on the mare before the horses took off at a gallop. Why had Arthur only had a little sleep the night before? This wasn’t like before when they’d been affected so strongly by Morgana’s spells. Things had supposed to go back to normal… He nudged the horse he rode up toward the king when they settled down to a canter and asked, “Why didn’t you sleep well?”

“I just didn’t. Now stop worrying, Merlin!”

Before he could answer, a laugh behind him from Gwaine sounded. “Merlin never stops worrying about you, princess. You should know that!”

He flushed a little in embarrassment and looked back at his friend. Gwaine winked at him and it gave him the courage to broach a subject that he hadn’t had the time or even really the want to do, but knew he had to. “So...” Arthur looked at him with a raised eyebrow to continue. “About…my magic. No one’s...said anything to me and… You have to at least understand why I didn’t tell anyone about it.”

The formerly easy atmosphere had become tense the moment the five letter word had left his mouth, but he had to know that they were all right, for his own sake. Arthur didn’t seem like he was going to say anything at all and he wasn’t looking at him. Merlin felt his stomach drop to his feet in fear and even a bit of anguish. Wasn’t that all the answer he needed to know? Arthur didn’t want him around anymore. He should be grateful that he wasn’t executed, but that didn’t mean they were still friends.

The king gave him a sharp look, but it was Gwaine that replied, “I don’t know about the rest of them, but it’s fine with me. I understand why you didn’t tell us and I’m betting that you saved our lives more than enough in the past that I think we deserve to give you some credit. Besides, you’re Merlin.”

“You say that like it explains everything.”

“It does,” Elyan said to his incredulous expression. “You’ll always be the man that would do anything for his friends and his lord because he honestly cares. Having magic doesn’t change who you are.”

“Some would say it did,” Merlin told him. “Some would say I lied about who I was and created someone that everyone would like even though that wasn’t me.”

“I admit,” Leon muttered, “I did think that at first, but I just can’t believe it. You’re too genuine about your motives to have lied like that.”

Percival nodded in agreement with a comforting smile, but Merlin was so worried about what Arthur would say that he could barely meet the eyes that were watching him. “Arthur…?”

“I never would have allowed anyone to kill you. You could have told me the truth years ago.”

“And make you lie to Uther, the man you looked up to more than anyone? No. I wasn’t going to do that.”

Arthur sighed. “You idiot.”

Before Merlin could argue with him for the comment, a yell broke the quiet of the forest and he felt someone shove him off his horse before he could react. His back exploded in pain as he landed on the uneven ground and he knew he would have some bruises there later. The clash of steel competed with the ringing in his ears as he realized they were surrounded by men. Their armor seemed to be a collection of mishmash items and by the appearance, he figured they had to be bandits.

He spotted one running for him and without having to worry about hiding his magic, his eyes glowed gold and he sent one flying. He slammed into a nearby tree and slumped to the ground, but Merlin didn’t hit him hard enough to kill him, he didn’t think.

Sensing another approaching, he spun to look, but instead saw Arthur’s red cape as the king intercepted the blade heading for his back. With a move that was smooth as silk, the king had run him through. “I could handle that,” he said in annoyance. “You know I’m not powerless anymore.”

Arthur rolled his eyes at him and engaged another bandit, but he was never more than a few steps away from Merlin. He was never that close before he knew about his magic and now, when Merlin wasn’t defenseless, he should be even farther away.

The melee ended almost as quickly as it began and with not even a scratch on any of the knights thanks to his magic and their own skill. “Back to Camelot,” Arthur ordered, sheathing his sword.

“Wait, that’s why we were out here?” he demanded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were the one that started talking about magic rather than where we were going.” Arthur frowned and added, as if bullied by his conscience, “And you would just worry if I did.”

“Of course I would, you’re the king of Camelot!” he argued, quickly getting on his horse so he wasn’t left behind. “And as one friend to another, you attract trouble more than anyone I’ve ever seen. Not to mention, Morgana is still out there!”

“As we found out the other day, abundantly so, Morgana doesn’t need to be anywhere me to cause problems, so secluding myself in the castle is not going to help anything. Besides, I brought you.”

Merlin verbally stumbled to a halt at that. Arthur had brought him...because of Morgana? He trusted him to be powerful enough to fend her off? To protect him from magical traps? So he hadn’t been dragged along as a manservant, but because he had talents just as much as any knight. Merlin could feel his smile stretching to the limits of what he was capable of at that, the sheer joy at not only the acknowledgment but acceptance of his magic by the person who’s opinion mattered most to him in the entire world.

Arthur glanced at him and there was an answering smile back, though it appeared more indulgent than joyful. “When we get back, do you want to see some magic?”

“I just saw what you did back there.”

“Not all magic is like that,” he disagreed. “A lot of it is helpful and pretty and--”

“If you insist. Just...in my chambers for now. I need to figure out the best way to repeal the ban on magic before we let anyone else know.”

Honestly, while Merlin figured he should have felt disappointed, he didn’t. He could keep his talents a secret from the rest of the world forever, now that his close friends and Arthur had accepted who he truly was unconditionally. They knew who and what he was, and that was all that mattered.

Merlin could barely wait, like a child wanting to show off his new toy to his best friend, that when they reached the courtyard, he all but tugged Arthur behind him, letting the knights handle the horses. “Merlin,” Arthur protested, but he didn’t care, just pushed the king in his rooms and closed the door.

“Watch this,” he whispered in excitement and held out his hand. The embers in the fireplace flared up and the smoke formed a dragon almost identical to the Pendragon’s coat of arms. It flew around the room before hovering over the stitched dragon on Arthur’s tunic and dissipating.

“See? Magic isn’t just about violence and protecting you. It’s about making our lives easier, and better, and--”

Arthur’s gloved hands gripped his own animated ones. “I see, Merlin. I know.” Merlin stared at the king’s eyes that seemed so achingly soft and gentle. “No magic could be purely hurtful if you have it. It’s not who you are and I know that.” He cleared his throat. “I’m...sorry if I made it seem as if I...didn’t approve or I was angry with you. I just wasn’t sure how to...address it.”

“You can’t be completely all right with it,” Merlin pointed out.

“No, I’m still feel a bit resentful you didn’t tell me before, but that will go away with time. As Elyan said, it doesn’t change who you are. It doesn’t change that you’re my manservant and my friend and...”

When Arthur faded off, Merlin tilted his head curiously. “And?”

“And you’re hungry. Get my lunch and you can have some of it.”

Merlin knew with the abrupt change of tone and Arthur dropping his hands that that was not what he’d been about to say, but decided not to push the issue. Arthur was opening up to him in ways that he had never done even before and he would do nothing to jeopardize that.

  


~*~

  


Merlin could never rid his worry that it wasn’t a dream at night, so he didn’t touch anything, but he studied the bond. It remained singularly uninteresting except with how Arthur and Merlin reacted to it. Amid the warmth from Arthur’s end of it, he began to pick out and identify other things. Fondness, protectiveness, irritation, and joy. And was it his imagination that the fog, rather than just him walking through it seemed to reach for him?

It gave him a pleasant hum in his mind and magic in the morning.

It was later that day that Merlin realized something had changed in Arthur. As usual, Merlin was often in a hurry for one thing and or another and he had a bag of herbs for Gaius for another one of the physician’s tests when two guards rounded the corner and he couldn’t stop himself from colliding into one.

The halberd he carried dropped on the floor with a clang and Merlin fell, clutching the bag to his chest so what he carried didn’t spill and he’d have to spend time picking it up. The guard, standing, growled, “Watch where you’re going, boy! If my halberd had been lowered, you’d be dead right now! Do that again and you’ll wish you were cleaning out the stables!”

It was a valid concern, Merlin acknowledged as he stood up, and not an uncommon occurrence to be chastised by the guard, but before he could smile and apologize, Arthur seemed to just appear and interrupted, “And you have no right to speak to him that way.”

Merlin almost jumped at the surprise presence and the two guards suddenly straightened up. “Yes, sire!”

“The only one that can punish him is me and if I hear you raise your voice or berate him again, you’ll find I won’t be lenient in the slightest.”

“Yes, sire!” they repeated, now a trace of fear in their voice and they quickly hurried around the two to get back to their stations.

“They had a point—”

“Yes they did, and I will be the one to tell you that you’re being reckless and hurt yourself, not anyone else!”

Where had all the protectiveness come from? “Uh...Arthur? How did you even know I was here? And why do you care if someone else yells at me? Since I’ve been working here, I’ve run into almost every guard for one reason or another and normally you’d just agree with them and tell me I’m stupid.”

Arthur rubbed his forehead. “I don’t really know how, I just knew that you were stressed.”

This time Merlin couldn’t just attribute Arthur reading his facial expressions and his worries over Arthur’s behavior in the woods with the bandits came back. “Come with me to Gaius. I think we need to tell him about this.”

Gaius was already bent over his glass beakers when they arrived. He looked up and frowned when he saw Arthur following behind. “Now what?”

“Arthur—”

  


“I can sense what Merlin’s feeling,” the king interrupted before Merlin could explain anything. “Ever since he collapsed.”

“In what way?” the old physician asked, removing his glasses slowly.

“I know when he’s upset or angry or… I guess even when he’s in danger of passing out. I just knew something was wrong yesterday when I was talking to Gwen.”

Gaius looked at him and Merlin shook his head. “The prat is still the prat, Gaius. I can’t feel anything from him.”

“It’s not just that,” Arthur continued, sitting down in a chair with a sigh. “I didn’t want to say anything, I thought it would just settle, but not only do I feel what Merlin does, I can tell that it’s from him and I’m--”

“Protective,” Merlin suggested when Arthur paused. “He just berated a guard that I ran into on my way here. And during the fight with the bandits yesterday, he was stuck to my side even though now he knows about my magic and that I’m not helpless.”

“That...is interesting. If this is indeed a side effect of what Merlin did with the bond, and we have no reason to assume it isn’t, I would have expected it to be Merlin that felt Arthur’s emotions, not the other way around.”

Merlin listened carefully to Gaius’ musings as he pulled down a heavy book, leaning against Arthur’s chair without really being aware of it. The king didn’t seem to mind, even though he didn’t really acknowledge what Merlin was doing. Gaius, when he looked up, raised his eyebrow. After a minute, he said, “Merlin, tell me what you did again that day.”

As Merlin repeated it, Gaius nodded sagely and sighed. Thinking of that morning, he added, “And the last two nights, I’ve been dreaming that I’m there again.”

“You’ve what?”

“I can’t tell if it’s a dream or not. It feels real, but at the same time, part of me knows I’m dreaming, or supposed to be. I haven’t touched anything!” he added before Gaius, with stormclouds of anger in his eyes, could berate him. “In the dream I just look!”

“You don’t have to do anything, just being there can be enough. This is a magic that shouldn’t be tampered with, or even examined, Merlin! We don’t know what consequences there can be to that!”

“I know he’s there, for what it’s worth,” Arthur interrupted. Merlin’s attention snapped to him and he watched as the king shifted in his chair, bracing his arm on the back and their hands touching just a little, but neither were really aware of it. “It’s at night and I’ll wake up knowing that there’s something different. I know it’s him, though, because it’s the same feeling from the day he collapsed.”

“You should have mentioned this, both of you,” Gaius told them with disapproval. “Does it hurt in any way, Your Highness?”

“No. It doesn’t hurt and it’s not uncomfortable, but it’s strange enough that I can’t go back to sleep after.”

Merlin felt guilt swamp him. So he was the reason that Arthur couldn’t sleep and had dark circles under his eyes? It wasn’t a dream, he was really doing it in his subconscious. “Gaius, is it possible with a potion at night, we could sleep?”

“It might help on the king, but even a potion to make you sleep will not stop your magic, Merlin.”

“Isn’t that fine, though? As long as Arthur can sleep--”

“No, it isn’t fine, Merlin. Didn’t you listen to what I said? You can’t be around the bond at all. Even just observing it, your magic is touching its, changing it even though you might not realize or even think it will.”

“We don’t know that.”

“No, we don’t know for certain, but do you really want to take that chance?”

“So what do we do?” Arthur asked in the silence.

“Talk to Kilgharrah,” Merlin said grimly. He might have asked for a week, but a week he wasn’t going to get.

  


  



	4. Chapter 4

This time Arthur insisted on being there with him and nothing Merlin said would dissuade him. He managed, barely, to convince his friend that just the two of them would be better than bringing the knights if he insisted on going. When Kilgharrah landed, the king frowned and said, “I distinctly remember you telling me that I dealt him a _‘mortal blow_ ’.”

“I lied,” Merlin told him with a shrug and turned to the amused dragon. “We...have an issue.”

“What now? It appears as if you are no longer drawn to each other in such a carnal way anymore. And yet, I have not felt any burst of magic strong enough to have removed the spell cast upon you.”

“Well, I kind of...”

“He messed with it.”

“Can you let _me_ do the talking? I’m the one that knows about magic here,” he said with irritation.

Arthur rolled his eyes and waved his hand in a ‘go on’ motion before crossing his arms and staring at Merlin. He couldn’t tell if that was upsetting or a bit thrilling. “I only meant to try to block the spell’s effects, but as soon as I saw it, I knew nothing we could try would remove it. So I tried to mix Morgana’s spell, the bond had already altered it out of self-preservation, into what was already there.. but since I did that, Arthur can now _sense_ what I’m feeling.”

Kilgharrah’s jaw dropped a bit at that. “You... _changed_ the bond.”

“I didn’t change it, I just put Morgana’s spell in it more quickly. It was already doing that anyway!” he defended.

“Merlin...do you understand magic at all? You used _magic_ to merge two spells together. It is not just _two spells_ , but three. The bond of destiny that tied you together is not one put in place many, many hundreds of years ago by prophecy, but now it is _your_ creation. If he is able to sense your feelings, it is something _you_ have done, whether it was intentional or not.”

“Then why can’t he sense mine?” Arthur asked. “From what I understand, this ‘bond’ of ours goes both ways, doesn’t it?”

“It does. Just because he cannot sense your emotions does not mean that he does not share something else with you.”

“Yes, but what?”

Merlin felt a sinking sensation in his stomach as he considered the options. They certainly weren’t reading each other thoughts, which left… “Arthur, do you have a dagger with you?”

Likely sensing his dread, the king nodded slowly. “Yes, why?”

“Do me a favor, and cut yourself with it.”

“What?! Merlin, you...” Realization seemed to dawn on him and he groaned. “I really hope you’re wrong about this.” Merlin watched as Arthur tugged off his glove and lightly ran a sharp dagger over his palm, a faint cut appearing on his hand. Merlin gasped in pain and looked at his own, where a large red spot had formed. He apparently did not reflect the actual injury, but the physical sensations were _very_ there.

“Kilgharrah...”

“I do not know how to advise you, young warlock. Intentional or not, this bond is now something of your own making.”

“But if it’s my own making, then I can fix it, right?”

“No. You’re doing _nothing_. This is what happened the last time you tried to fix it,” Arthur argued.

Merlin feared what he had done. He didn’t need Kilgharrah to tell him that he had changed their destiny forever. He wanted Arthur to create Albion, he wanted to see the future that he promised, but the _manner_ in which it was created was now entirely different. Maybe even the very image of Albion itself would be changed. Even if he could, which he knew deep in his bones that he couldn’t, Merlin wouldn’t want their bond removed, but Arthur was also right. The last time he had done something, he had created this mess and he didn’t trust that if he kept altering it, it wouldn’t get even worse.

He felt Arthur’s hands on his shoulders reassuringly as Kilgharrah burst into the sky once again. “I’ve really messed things up, didn’t I?”

“I don’t know. At least I don’t feel as if I’m going to violate you.”

Merlin only laughed and looked over his shoulder. “You would never do that,” he said in perfect conviction.

But Arthur was grim and shook his head. “You don’t understand, Merlin. You don’t know what it’s like to be fully aware but unable to control your own body. It felt like I was losing my mind. I would have taken you to my bed regardless if it hadn’t been for you...even if you might have agreed to it.”

“Was it...that horrible?”

“The feeling that I’d hurt you? _Yes_ ,” Arthur stressed, hand lightly cupping the side of Merlin’s jaw. “I’ve never felt anything like that fear and the self-loathing that comes with it. I would never forgive myself if I did that to you.”

“But it wasn’t because...”

Merlin couldn’t tell if Arthur was guessing what he thought or if he was feeling even the underlying embarrassment of the question, but the king blushed just a little. “Because I didn’t enjoy it? No. That wasn’t the reason.”

So, that meant that he had enjoyed it, to some extent. Spell or not, Merlin liked to think that he was a decent kisser. “But...we’re okay now.” He wondered if Arthur’s silence was relief or disappointment. But of course it had to be _relief_. Why would he be disappointed? “There’s no way to tell though.”

The king’s eyes had dropped to his lips. “There is...one way.”

He caught on as to what Arthur was suggesting and his heart quickened a bit in anticipation. “We should do it, just to be sure,” he agreed, hoping he didn’t sound as eager as he felt.

“Yes. Just to be sure. That’s all,” Arthur said, but Merlin didn’t need to read his feelings to know that they were both doing this for every reason other than ‘just to be sure’. He allowed himself to be pulled close and Arthur’s lips to close over his.

The taste was just like before, only sweeter and better. The gentle touch disappeared briefly and he took a deep breath and then Arthur was back again. The harshness of their magically induced passion was nothing compared to this. He didn’t feel _compelled_ to act, but rather he did it because he wanted to. He remembered the sensations of warmth from the fog, the welcoming nature of it, and leaned in a little more. Arthur, for all his sharp tongue at times, was more gentle than Merlin had even considered. He was as gentlemanly with Merlin in this as he had ever been with…

Gwen.

As if sensing the way his thoughts had gone, Arthur pulled back and whispered, “What’s wrong? You were happy and then now you’re upset.”

“Not upset with you. Just… Gwen.”

Her name didn’t produce the result that he thought it would. Instead of pulling back in a horrified manner, Arthur’s arm just slid around his waist and pulled him close. “I know,” he whispered and kissed him again.

“Then why are we...doing this?” Merlin asked, unable to pull away from the addicting softness of his king’s lips.

“Because we want to this time.” After a deeper kiss, Arthur finally pulled back and let their foreheads touch. “I didn’t think I’d missed it that much.”

Merlin knew that this couldn’t continue. His ‘destiny’, such as he had always known it, was to guide Arthur until he became the king of Albion and while he hated the implications of the phrase, he knew that Arthur would die one day and then come back...but it said nothing about Merlin being there for the last half of it. That was what he had known and trusted in, but he could feel that he had changed things. Before he had hated the idea that his life was already written for him, that he could do nothing about it, but now that he didn’t have it, he realized how, as confining as it had been, it had been something of a comfort.

“Merlin.”

“What?” he whispered.

“Stop.”

He opened his eyes and pulled back from Arthur in confusion. “Stop what? I’m not doing anything.”

“I had no idea that you _felt_ so much like that. You swing from happiness to sadness to anxiety in seconds. I can’t keep up with it.”

“I-I’m sorry--”

“ _Stop_! Stop apologizing, Merlin, and stop feeling guilty. _You_ didn’t enchant us and you did what you felt you had to, to stop it from getting worse.” Arthur shook his head in wonder. “I’m beginning to think that reading your emotions is going to be a blessing in disguise.”

His mouth dropped open. “What? Why?”

“In all the years we’ve been together, I always thought you were expressive, but you’re actually not. Your expression hasn’t changed at all, but you’ve swung between four different emotions, all equally upsetting because your worries are stupid, and I would have never known. You would have stood there in agony and smiled and I wouldn’t have known you would be just hurting yourself.”

“And this is a blessing in disguise because…?”

“Because now I know if I have to correct these idiotic notions in your head. Or at least, know when you’re upset to pry it out of you.”

Oh this was not going to end well. There were just some things he didn’t want Arthur knowing about _at all_. He didn’t want him to be able to feel the devotion he had, if for no other reason that it bordered on something far deeper that he knew he shouldn’t examine.

“A-Anyway, we probably...shouldn’t do that again.”

“Probably not,” Arthur agreed, but he didn’t look convinced at all and instead leaned in for another. Merlin’s arm went around the king’s shoulder before he could help it as he kissed back. It took more willpower than he’d ever thought he had to push Arthur away and step back. That had been the most perfect moment in his life and it pained him to be the one to ruin it.

“We should pretend this moment never happened.”

For a minute Merlin thought that Arthur would rebelliously ask him why, but after a long moment, the king gave a shaky nod. He bit his lip as he felt them still tingling from the sensations and he wasn’t sure if it was his own, Arthur’s, or both. “Why don’t you...go back first?”

“I’m not leaving you out here.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“They know we left together, if you really want to pretend nothing happened, we have to go back together or it’ll tip them off something happened.”

Merlin pouted at that and realized that Arthur was right. He sighed as stepped up next to his friend, giving a twitch of surprise when his hand was held without pause. “Your hand hurts,” he said, feeling the stinging in his own palm.

“I’m fine. It’ll pass.”

He let the silence settle as they headed back to the palace, but the king didn’t seem to be in a great hurry. It was the kind of quiet he normally enjoyed, but now it was different. He glanced at his hand captured in Arthur’s gloved one and tried to tell his heart to calm down, to little effect. Was this a side effect from the spell? Surely not. Morgana’s spell had been to infatuate Arthur with him and enjoy the chaos that followed. Her goal was not to see Arthur happy, but to see him in torment.

Arthur released his hand as they entered Camelot and Merlin slowly lowered his pace until the king was far ahead of him before he quickly turned to head to Gaius. He couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or relieved when he found the physician’s room empty and Merlin slumped to the floor with his back to the door. Just because they weren’t being magically pulled together didn’t mean he didn’t feel the attraction, both from himself and…

He had had no real appreciation for what Arthur was going through, him feeling Merlin’s emotions, until they realized he could feel Arthur’s physical sensations. He had _felt_ what Arthur had during the kiss and he had instinctively recognized what was his own and what was his friend’s. It wasn’t overt like before, but the attraction was still there. Merlin had managed to hide it amid the bond, but it hadn’t dissipated.

The truth was, he’d been naive. He had thought that when he mixed them together, that as it became absorbed, it would just mean that they would physically touch more often, if anything. More handshakes, or grabs, not...continued desire.

He had felt through the bond Arthur’s affection for him; he didn’t doubt that no matter what he said, the king liked him, but he wasn’t sure if what was happening between them was natural, or it was magically induced. _Does it matter if it is though?_ he wondered. _The point is that it’s still there and we’re still going to have to be careful._

The last thing he wanted to do was jeopardize Arthur’s happy future with Gwen.

 

~*~

 

Honestly, could that boy think less loudly?

Arthur almost moaned and clutched at his head in his seat. He had a good guess where Merlin had gone, but he could still feel his emotions even if he was on the other side of the palace. Why was he so conflicted all the time? It didn’t seem to matter how much or how many times he reassured Merlin, he still worried constantly. He didn’t need to _worry_ so much, or at least if he was determined to do so, let Arthur share half of that burden.

“Sire? Are you all right?”

He looked up at Leon’s question and sighed. As soon as he’d returned, he’d summoned the four of them and explained what they had discovered. “My head is going to start pounding soon. Half a castle away and Merlin is still bombarding me. I wouldn’t mind so much if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s anxiety and stress. As if I don’t have enough of my own!”

“I’m sure Merlin can’t help it,” Gwaine immediately defended.

Arthur tamped down a surge of jealousy. Gwaine and Merlin had always been close, more than any other with the exception of Arthur himself, or so he thought. It had been Gwaine to be the first to speak up in support, always the first in line to defend him. It was touching...and also upsetting. He sighed. He wasn’t a fool enough to not recognize jealousy when he had it, even though he knew there were no romantic feelings there, and he knew it wasn’t part of the spell. He had always felt that way, just to a lesser degree, long before what Morgana had done.

“I’m sure he can’t,” Arthur snapped before groaning at himself. There was nothing there, he _knew_ there wasn’t after having caught Gwaine with every serving girl but Gwen in the palace, but he couldn’t help himself. “I’m...sorry, Gwaine. I didn’t mean to sound like that. It’s just...” He fingers twitched in frustration and he shifted in his seat, admitting, “I don’t know that I really understand what Merlin did, but I know that whatever it was, however he did it, it seems to have taken everything I always felt for him and made it so much worse.”

“Like?”

“Like irritation when he doesn’t do what I tell him,” he explained to Elyan. “Worry when he does something ridiculously stupid, like going to see a dragon _alone_. Protectiveness when we’re in a battle when all he had to do was stand back and let me handle it! It’s driving me mad...but I can’t imagine him _not_ being there the rest of my life. The thought of living like this when he isn’t mine is torture, but I can’t bear not to have him close!”

He flopped back in his chair in his room, not realizing what he’d said until Percival repeated, “Isn’t yours?”

Oh hell. Arthur covered his eyes with his hand in embarrassment. “That...sounded like...”

“It sounded like a declaration of love to me,” Gwaine said, bracing his hands on the back of his chair.

“Is it part of the spell perhaps?” Leon suggested.

Arthur knew the only reason he said it was because he was trying to help, not that he really believed it, and he appreciated his friend for trying. “I doubt it. The spell seemed intent on making me...take him, but not any of this. I _knew_ what I was doing, I just couldn’t stop myself from doing it. I know I’m not about to just run to his room and rip off his clothes.”

“At least not without his permission.”

“Gwaine!” he snapped.

“Hey, I’m just trying to help clarify,” the knight said with a chuckle.

“This is not a laughing matter!” he said, standing up and pacing furiously.

“Oh, I think this is is hilariously precious,” Gwaine disagreed. When Arthur looked over to him with a look that could kill, his friend only grinned. “Think about it: Morgana’s spell was to cause trouble for you, ruin your reputation for doing something not only unhonorable but also vile, and instead the end result was that she illuminated your feelings for Merlin! It was the exact opposite of what she wanted, right?”

“Illuminated...my feelings?”

Gwaine shared a look with the other knights and straightened up, squaring his shoulders as if he was the bravest of all of them to confront him. “Arthur, as your friend, I’m going to tell you that...you’ve probably been half in love with him for a long time. You just didn’t want to see it, so you didn’t. Now I’m not saying that your feelings for Gwen aren’t true, but she _is_ the ‘safer’ option, isn’t she? The thought that you might be in love with a man scared you so you convinced yourself it wasn’t that way for a long, long time.”

His eyes narrowed. “And you dare to presume this is how I feel? What gives you such confidence?”

There was a long moment of silence before Gwaine answered and Arthur felt his heart drop to the floor. “Because it happened to me with the very same person.”

That jealousy he had spent so much time telling himself had no reason to exist reared its head so fast that he reacted before he thought, lunging for the knight. “You…!”

It was Pervical that managed to grab him in time before he reached Gwaine, who’s grim face said he had expected such a reaction. “It was never like that with us, Arthur. Any fool could see he was already in love with you. I’d never felt that way about another man before in my life and the first time I realized it, I was scared of it. Then I learned to accept it, because Merlin is Merlin and he’s a great man. I admire his strength to face down dragons and anything in your path that means you harm...and I’m jealous as hell about it. Merlin would do anything for his friends, but he’d only die for you. So believe me when I say that I know what you’re feeling.”

Arthur watched, stunned, as Gwaine reached out and yanked him close. “And let me tell you this, _sir_. If you refuse to act on your feelings, or you hurt him in some way, I won’t hesitate to steal him away from you.”

“Is this coming from a knight...or a friend?”

Gwaine gave a faint laugh. “A friend. I just want to see Merlin happy...and you if it comes to that,” he teased.

The atmosphere became lighter as Gwaine stepped back with a smile, but Arthur had felt the conviction from his friend. He believed every word that had come out of his mouth and he didn’t doubt that Gwaine would do it in heartbeat. So that left him with a choice: did he watch Merlin, someone that couldn’t bear to live life without, be forever lost to him, or did he break Gwen’s heart?

His eyes shifted to Elyan, who had stood there quietly during the exchange, but his face was calm. There was no telling what he felt underneath that mask. He didn’t want to hurt Gwen; he loved her, that he felt certain of, but she didn’t cause the same crushing weight on his heart that Merlin did when he thought of the sorcerer gone. He knew he could be happy with Gwen, their marriage firm and likely without much trouble or anxiety. He believed in her feelings for him. They would be ‘safe’.

As the knights talked, he met Gwaine’s eyes. Merlin would die for him? Of that he had no doubt, just as he had no doubt that if it came to it, he would die for Merlin. He gave a rueful smile to himself. Did that mean he had made his decision? Yes...but he still had no idea where Merlin stood on the issue. Gwaine seemed absolutely firm in his belief that the sorcerer felt the same, but he wasn’t the one that was feeling what Merlin was and he had sensed mostly fear, anxiety, and guilt, not love. Perhaps it was further down, buried under his terrors, but even if he knew how, Arthur was not going to go rooting around in Merlin’s emotions.

He had made his choice, but the hardest part came next: acting on it and he wished he could put it off...but he knew that would be unfair to Gwen. He had proposed to her in a quiet ceremony only days before and now he was going to break her heart in two. “Elyan.”

“Yes, sire?”

“Could you bring Gwen here? The rest of you are dismissed.”

Gwaine lingered behind and gripped his shoulder tightly. “Don’t be jealous of me, Arthur,” he said seriously. “Merlin and I are just friends.”

“Provided I act on my feelings?”

“Yes.”

Arthur watched as he left, trying to tell himself to follow Gwaine’s advice, but he couldn’t. He was both jealous still, and full of admiration for the man that was brave enough to say what he felt without a hint of embarrassment. It was a miracle that Merlin hadn’t been lost to him long ago with that kind of conviction.

He stood at the window, watching the people coming and going in the courtyard below. It was a soothing and he sighed as it calmed his nerves, only for the light knock to raise them all again. “Come in.”

Gwen smiled at him brightly and came to his side. “Elyan said you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, I did.” She was so happy, so cheerful, that he almost couldn’t say it. He remembered the looks from years ago, her longing for him and he equally longing for her, and things were going so well right then. She had lost so much and she deserved someone so much better than he. “Gwen, we have to talk.”

Her smile slipped at his serious tone and he felt a slight tremble through her fingers as he held her hands gently. “What is it?”

He kissed her knuckles softly in a reverent manner. “I don’t know how to tell you this. I realized something the last few days and...” He trailed off as the words stuck painfully in his throat.

“Arthur, you can tell me. Just take your time. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”

No, it really wouldn’t. Was he really going to break Gwen’s heart for good this time, without even the slightest hint other than Gwaine’s own assertions that Merlin might even have an inkling of returning his feelings? “Gwen, I… I think I’m in love Merlin. No, I know I am. I just never realized how much.” Her hands sharply pulled from his and he felt a rising surge of panic that she would just run before he finished, before he could try to ease some of the pain. “Let me explain, please. I do love you, Gwen. That hasn’t changed and I don’t think it ever will. Your smile has always made my day better. But--”

“Just not as much as Merlin?”

Arthur opened his mouth to argue, only to realize she had summed up everything in just that one sentence. “...Yes.”

He watched Gwen as she took it in and flinched when she removed the ring he had given her. She didn’t throw it at him, there was that, but she merely set it on the desk rather than risk touching him by handing it to him. “I understand.”

Her voice lacked any expression whatsoever in it and when he reached out to her, she flinched back. “I’m sorry, Gwen.”

“No, it’s fine. Really.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes it is!” Her voice almost cracked and he could see the film of tears over her eyes. “It’s really fine. Merlin is a very lucky man.”

Before he could say anything else, she had all but ran out of the room and he was left hoping that he hadn’t destroyed their friendship as well as their relationship.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur knew the moment Merlin was awake and his eyes slid open slowly, staring at the wall as he was dragged from sleep. His own rest had been fitful, replaying his encounter with Gwen and the fears that he had hurt someone he cared about for nothing. He concentrated on the emotions, not prying, but just separating them out as they bombarded him. Worry, yes, but the anxiety and fears from yesterday weren’t there.

The door was flung open and the tray holding his breakfast put on the table. Merlin headed to the curtains, throwing them open and turning around with a smile, only to pause when their eyes met. His shoulders seemed to drop a bit in confusion. “Oh. You’re awake already.”

He knew that if he said it was because of Merlin that he was awake, he would feel guilty all over again, so he merely flopped on his back with a grunt of, “Didn’t sleep well.”

The worry hit a fever pitch as Merlin approached and looked at him closely. “Well you do look like you haven’t slept decently in a week.”

“Because I haven’t and would you stop worrying so much? I’m fine, I promise.”

Merlin let out a heavy sigh. “You’re ability to read my emotions is really going to become a problem.”

“Merlin, I didn’t have to read your emotions to know you’re worrying.” Arthur sighed and sat up. He reached out and grabbed the sorcerer’s arm, gently tugging him down to sit next to him. He’d been upset, felt terribly betrayed when he’d found out that Merlin had lied to him all the years he’d known him. He’d wanted to yell that the person he had known hadn’t existed...but ever since he’d been able to read his friend’s emotions, he could feel that the magic, and the resulting affection behind it, was all for him. His devotion was almost a tangible thing now.

“Do you always worry this constantly about me?”

His head tilted as he seemed to think about it. “No, not this often, but you’ve never known about my magic and we’ve never been enchanted before.”

“So I suppose if I ordered you a hundred times to stop worrying, it wouldn’t make a difference.”

There was that irrepressible grin he loved so much and hadn’t realized until this moment just how much he had. It brought an answering smile of his own, quite without his permission. “No.”

“I wish I knew what to do with you, Merlin,” he said with a chuckle.

Merlin laughed at him. “You’re just going to have to get used to being stuck with me and accept that I’ll never let anything happen to you.”

He knew that last part already. He could feel that loud and clear, but that didn’t give him hope for his own beleaguered feelings. It didn’t mean he felt any kind of love for him, much less romantic. “Merlin, I—”

“You need to eat!” Merlin said, interrupting him with the same gusto that he did everything else. “And get dressed.”

He watched as the energetic man moved around the room, gathering his clothes and putting things away. His boots moved along the floor toward his bed with an invisible force and he even caught the sorcerer humming. There was a surprising feeling of contentment coming from Merlin. “You’re...happy.”

Merlin looked up at him in surprise. “What?”

“You’re...happy, but almost exuberant happy. Why?” he asked curiously.

The humming stopped, but only because it seemed as if his manservant was honestly thinking about it. “Well...you know about my magic now.”

Arthur waited, but nothing else seemed forthcoming. “That’s it? That’s what making you happy?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then how about trying to make me understand.”

Merlin chewed on his lip a little and sat down in a chair, finger tapping on the table next to his food. “I don’t think you could understand what it’s like, and it’s not an insult. To have to hide what makes you, you… It’s like you’re denying your very existence. That’s hard enough as it is, but it’s even harder when all you want to do is tell your best friend about it. You’re always so close to admitting it, before you realize that if you said something, you’ll only create more problems for him. So as hard as it is, you remain quiet. You decide you would never ask them to see, to acknowledge, the real you because you don’t want to add an even greater burden.”

His jaw dropped a bit in surprise. The words were stunning enough, but he could feel the truth, the heavy emotions that Merlin was flooding with him and he felt guilty for never noticing the stress he was under. Then the happy emotions hit him again, the sheer joy, as Merlin gave his massive smile that seemed to be so delighted and grateful he thought he might have seen a sheen of tears in his eyes.

“Then when your best friend knows and he doesn’t condemn you, instead lets you stay around him like before, when he accepts you… It’s like you’re allowed to breathe at last. You have no idea how happy it makes me.”

“...I think I do,” he whispered.

Merlin winced. “I’m sorry about that, I’ll--”

“You’ll do nothing,” he ordered. “It’s fine. Feel whatever you want to feel. It’s probably something I need to feel, to understand.”

“Really?”

Arthur nodded and slid from the bed, Merlin’s eyes immediately going somewhere else. “I never knew the kind of stress, the kind of life that I was asking you to live before. You had to play the fool, pretend, because I didn’t give you enough cause to trust me to tell me the truth.”

The sorcerer sprung to his feet at that with a protest. “That’s not true, Arthur! I trust you with my life! I just didn’t want to have to put you in the position of lying to your father!”

He let the words wash over him, trying to let himself believe them. “For the record, Merlin… I would have lied to him for the rest of my life if necessary, to protect you.”

Arthur felt himself swamped with pleased embarrassment and he couldn’t help smiling a little as he pulled on a shirt. What a manner his life had taken, but as he turned and watched Merlin go about his chores with a massive smile, he wouldn’t have wanted anything different.

  


~*~

  


Merlin felt it when Arthur was knocked back and he winced when his back stung as the king hit the ground. Even distance, even as hidden in his own room as he could make himself, didn’t lessen the effects. Despite Arthur’s misgivings, he had tested what happened the further they were away from each other and it didn’t seem to affect either his emotional sharing or Arthur’s physical ones. The only thing he had determined was that the further he went from the king, the more uncomfortable he felt in general. Even Arthur had felt it, had commented on it, when he’d approached after that.

Merlin feared that if he had visited the bond, or modified it even once more, they might have been unable to physically leave each other’s side without problems. As it was, he merely felt uncomfortable, but not incapable of leaving the Camelot without Arthur if he chose.

Not that he would. This place had become his home.

He grunted as he stretched his back and Gaius looked at him with concern. “The king isn’t doing well in his training today,” Merlin told him. “That’s the third time he’s been knocked back.”

“How bad is the pain?”

“It’s bearable,” he said at last, thinking about it and isolating each hit. “Honestly, the harder it happens, the stronger the feeling. If Arthur just shrugs off a blow, I barely feel it. If he gets really hurt, or thrown on his back, it’s stronger.”

“Bruising?”

“None really, I don’t think.” He sighed as Gaius lifted up his shirt to look at his back. “I don’t reflect the actual injuries, I just feel them.” Gaius made a curious sound and he asked, “What?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“What?” he insisted.

Gaius sighed and said, “Well, it’s been known that the more powerful the sorcerer, the long they tend to live. You would be surprised at how old Nimueh actually was and you’re as powerful, if not moreso, than she was. I would assume that you will live a decently long time because of it. However, with the connection between you and Arthur, I wonder if that will affect him as well.”

“You’re not suggesting that I’m immortal.”

“Hardly. You can still die if someone runs you through, but by old age? I don’t know.”

Before Merlin could respond, he gasped in pain and gripped his left shoulder tightly. “Well, he’s twisted that!”

Gaius frowned in concern and picked up a jar, handing it to Merlin. “Bring that to the king and tell him to be more careful. It’s not just him that his injuries affect.”

“I’ll tell him, but it’s not going to make a difference,” Merlin told him with a shrug and jogged out of the physician’s room.

He had half-expected to meet Arthur on the way to Gaius, but he only met the knights in passing. By the time he reached the training field, dodging in between people with practiced ease, he doubted that the king would still be there.

Except he was. Merlin felt his mouth go dry a little as he looked at the king sitting on the ground, back to a well, and soaked to the skin. The bucket he had clearly dumped the water onto himself with was on his left and his armor on the right. While some part of his brain was annoyed, after all it was _him_ and not Arthur that had to clean that armor, the rest of him was stunned at the strength of his own reaction to the king’s limber, attractive form.

“I thought you’d get here faster.”

Blue eyes turned to him and he throttled down the thoughts that came to mind as to what he could do to a wet Arthur. “You weren’t dying,” he said with a shrug and pulled the man to his feet. “Inside the armory, Gaius has a liniment for you.”

“You think that’s a good idea?”

Merlin paused. The last time the two had been in the armory together, they’d practically ripped their clothes off. “It...should be fine,” he said hesitantly, thinking back on his reaction not seconds ago.

“You don’t feel convinced.”

Well, there was no point in lying to Arthur at that point. The man always knew now because his emotions always gave it away. “I’m not, but you need this and the spell isn’t...like it was.”

Despite clear misgivings from both of them, Merlin followed Arthur into the armory and pulled off his wet shirt. “S-Sit down,” he suggested and the king straddled a bench, watching him with surprisingly intense eyes. Merlin barely managed to hold off a gulp as he settled behind him and began rubbing the liniment on the sore shoulder. Feeling it on his own body, he knew just how hard to press as to not make it worse.

He was lost in the repetitive, massaging motions when a faint moan broke the silence. “Arthur?”

“...What?”

“Feeling okay?” The pain in his own shoulder had lessened, so it couldn’t be as bad for the king.

There was a distinctly long pause before the man answered. “You should probably stop doing that.”

Merlin swallowed as he realized just what that moan had been. “...Right.” He let his hands drop, but Arthur didn’t turn around and Merlin didn’t know if he wanted him to. Part of him almost desperately wanted him to and another part was scared as hell that he wanted him to. Even worse was that Arthur shifted, clearly sensing his emotions. Looking for a subject change, any other subject, he latched onto the first one that came in his head. “How is Gwen? I haven’t had a chance to talk to her lately.”

Arthur stood up at the question, much to his surprise and sighed. “I don’t know either. Gwen hasn’t spoken to me for a few days.”

“What did you say this time?”

“What makes you think I said anything?”

Merlin grinned. “Because every time you two have a fight, it’s usually all your fault. Give her time, she’ll forgive you and come back.”

“...No, I don’t think she will.”

His smile faded a bit, wondering if it really was that serious. “What happened?”

“I told her I was in love with someone else.”

For a second, he thought that Arthur was teasing him and he’d turn around with that sarcastic smile on his lips, poking fun at his concern. When that strong back remained steadfastly to him, he felt his stomach drop in shock. “ _What_?!”

“I realized that there was someone else that I loved more than her, and I hadn’t thought that was possible until now.”

Merlin stumbled to his feet, going around until he could look Arthur in the face. “But…but… You’ve been in love with Gwen for _years_. You said you proposed!”

“I did.”

He couldn’t help an insidious fear that maybe this was part of the enchantment that Morgana had cast on Arthur. She didn’t want Gwen on the throne, clearly, so she had made him end their relationship. “Don’t worry, Arthur, I’ll remove whatever Morgana did--”

Arthur groaned and turned away from him, grabbing his wet shirt in irritation. “I’m not enchanted, Merlin. It has nothing to do with Morgana!”

“But there’s no reason for you to--”

Before he could react except to admire how fast the king could move, Merlin felt hands slide into his hair and they were kissing again. Even as Arthur gathered him up tightly in his arms and his own slid around those broad shoulders, even as he knew he shouldn’t, Merlin kissed back just as fiercely. They stumbled back into the wall, the same wall they had almost three weeks ago, and he moaned before he could stop it.

“This is no spell,” Arthur whispered heatedly when the kiss ended. “I think I’ve been enchanted enough to know what it feels like, and this isn’t it. I love you, Merlin.”

Merlin felt his knees go weak and when the king stepped away to give him space, he had slid halfway down the wall in shock. No enchantment, but he loved Merlin? How could that be? He struggled to say something, anything, and not gape like a fish that’d been caught, but nothing came out. “Arthur...”

His friend cleared his throat awkwardly. “I actually feel a bit better now that it’s in the open.”

“That’s...not what’s supposed to happen.”

“I don’t care.” Merlin’s jaw dropped at the flat statement from Arthur. “Merlin, maybe you’ve lived your life by a prophecy, but I don’t. You yourself have said that I always do what’s right and telling Gwen the truth about my feelings was right. Telling you about my feelings was right.”

“But Arthur--”

“If you’re going to tell me that you don’t feel the same, then...I accept that, but don’t tell me what I have to do. Father wanted me to marry politically and you want me to marry for a prophecy and I will do neither.”

The notion that he was in any way the same as Uther rankled and he glared. “I’ve always wanted what was best for you.”

Arthur’s hand reached out to him, but stopped at the last minute. “I know.”

“Why are you even telling me this?” he demanded.

“Because I intend to woo you and I thought that it would make it easier to tell you what I was doing first. I don’t want to lose you.”

His jaw dropped in sheer shock. “ _Woo_? Lose me?!”

Arthur frowned at him a bit. “I didn’t think you were so unaware of your admirers.”

Merlin really began to consider that maybe the king had lost his mind. “ _Admirers_?”

“I’m not the only one that loves you...as I have been so recently informed. Now that that’s out of the way, I have work to do and so do you.”

“He’s lost his mind,” Merlin said to himself as he was left alone. “Completely lost his mind.”

  


  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat short chapter and I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this up. I was writing it and then writer's block hit me with a tire-iron. On the advice of a friend, I decided to tackle the elephant in the room and hopefully write something epic next chapter.

Merlin avoided the king for the rest of the day and had convinced himself that it was just a crazy dream by the next morning. That’s all it had been, because the alternative was downright unbelievable. The very idea that Arthur would leave Gwen for him was something that his mind had created in a fantastical dream. He bit his lip at himself at the feeling of disappointment at the thought and then immediately told himself that he wasn’t. He couldn’t be.

“What’s wrong?”

He jumped a bit in surprise, spinning around to see Arthur behind him, completely dressed in that red tunic and belt that suited him so well. “Nothing,” he said in surprise. “Dressed again, I see. Trying to get rid of me?”

Merlin felt heat at his back as he’d turned to set down Arthur’s breakfast and hot breath against his ear as Arthur said, “You know you can’t lie to me now.”

Never before in his life had his heart beat this hard. He was acutely aware of the king behind him and his eyes seemed glued to the hand that came forward, resting on the table and the beautiful ring on his index finger. He swallowed thickly as his stubbornly clung to theory about it all being a dream disappeared like so much smoke. Yesterday really had happened. Arthur had professed his feelings and his intentions.

“You were feeling disappointed...but not anymore.”

“Stop reading my emotions,” he argued, turning around in annoyance.

That was the wrong thing to do because Merlin could now see Arthur and how close they were standing. He felt the table behind him and while he was in no way trapped, he found he couldn’t move at all. There was something sincere and deep in Arthur’s blue eyes and Merlin took a shaky breath. It was as if he was the center of the world…

“You know I don’t have any control over it,” Arthur pointed out and leaned in, kissing him lightly, barely more than a peck.

Why him? The question would not leave him. How could Arthur, who had someone as beautiful and intelligent like Gwen, decide that they wanted Merlin? It was terribly flattering, yes, but also...scary in a way. He was used to Arthur never really noticing him and now that he was--

“If you stay there, I’m only going to kiss you more.”

Merlin let out a shaky breath at that, but his legs wouldn’t move. Before he could stop it, his eyes had flicked down to Arthur’s lips and back up and a surprising feeling of want came to him. It wasn’t as if he pulled away every time they kissed because he didn’t like it--

This kiss was more than a peck and his eyes fluttered closed at the gentle pressure. He felt Arthur’s arm slide around his waist, but it surprisingly calmed him rather than panicked him. He wasn’t betraying anyone by doing this. He was...just kissing Arthur.

That was laughable. There was no ‘just kissing Arthur’. It was almost like a religious experience, he reflected as the kiss continued, Arthur’s tongue easing between his lips as it deepened. Merlin didn’t think there was a moment in his life that compared to what was happening right then. It felt like sheer perfection, contentment.

It ended slowly, drawn out, and Merlin whimpered just a little at the loss. Almost immediately after he regretted the sound, knowing that Arthur would make some kind of comment...but there was none. The king was looking just as dazed as he felt. At least he wasn’t the only one!

“Merlin...”

“Yes?”

Arthur only leaned in for another kiss, but this one wasn’t quite as gentle. He could feel the arousal in its taste, and the king’s reaction to it. It seemed even more foolish that he had managed to convince himself that it hadn’t happened only twenty minutes ago, when he felt the arousal twining with his own.

His traitorous fingers twined into Arthur’s hair as if they didn’t care that he was king and they were best friends and it would make it awkward later. To encourage him, Arthur’s gripped Merlin’s thighs and lifted him up to sit him on the table, their lips never breaking contact. He couldn’t help a moan escaping him, his nerves on fire with anticipation and pleasure, and he had to keep reminding himself that there was no reason he couldn’t enjoy this…

Arthur’s lips broke from his only to attach themselves to Merlin’s neck and he shuddered. Even if the king hadn’t been pressing their hips together, he could feel their arousal growing faster, twining together until he really _couldn’t_ tell which was his and which was Arthur’s. He hissed a little at a deeper kiss right at the junction between his collarbone and neck and his scarf was going to come in handy if they were going to continue this.

...Were they going to continue this? Was there an actual place for his feelings, for _him_ in Arthur’s life? For so long, he’d tamped down any expectations of being at his friend’s side when Albion was created. Hell, he’d told himself he wouldn’t be disappointed if there was no place for him after he married Gwen. To him, it had been a near certainty and he had taken some comfort in that.

A low, deep moan interrupted his thoughts and he echoed it as he felt Arthur rub their hips together a little. “Arthur?” he whispered, voice raw as the king left another mark on his neck, this one higher than could be hidden by his scarf.

“Mm?”

“We’re...um...”

Arthur stilled for a moment before his head lifted. There was a hazy look in those lovely blue eyes and Merlin couldn’t help but lean in for another kiss that the king was all too happy to provide. “Sorry,” Arthur whispered lightly as he pulled back.

Merlin was about tell him just why what they were doing was a bad idea before he remembered, once again, that there were no reasons why they couldn’t. Uther wasn’t there anymore to execute him for his magic or for seducing the prince and Arthur wasn’t in a relationship with Gwen either. In fact, Arthur had freely told him that he was in love with him.

“I don’t think you have to apologize anymore,” he muttered.

A slow smile slid across Arthur’s lips. “I don’t?” Strong arms slid around his back, pulling Merlin close to him until their chests were touching too. “So it’s all right to kiss you because I want to?”

A blush flooded his cheeks at that and he mumbled something.

“What was that, Merlin? Speak up.”

He glared at Arthur. “You heard me.”

“I don’t know that I did.”

Annoyed, Merlin slid from the table and squirmed away, only for the king to pull him back and he could feel the hardness pressing against his rear through their clothes. “You heard me,” he insisted, not willing to repeat his agreement.

Soft lips ran along the unmarked side of Merlin’s neck and he shivered before he could stop it. “Arthur, you really have things to do today. In fact, so do I.”

“The king pardons you for your tardiness because he’s requesting your presence.”

“Arthur...” he whined, breath hitching as his nerves screamed with increased desire.

“I love you, Merlin.”

The words seemed to pass through him quickly until it hit his very soul. They were said with such conviction that it left him feeling weak in the knees. This beautiful, wonderful king, a man that all others should aspire to be like...loved _him_. “The bond...”

“Didn’t make me feel like this, Merlin...and I can _feel_ how happy you are. Does that mean you...share my feelings?”

Did it? Merlin shuddered as he realized it did. Now that he’d been given leave to want something for himself, he realized just how passionately he wanted Arthur. Not just physically, but something far deeper. The warmth of that bond when he’d strayed closer to the king’s soul had started the longing to have it all to himself. He knew there was no safer place to be; Arthur would protect him, his very heart, and it was in capable hands.

“Yes. I don’t think I can live without you now...you great prat.”

He felt a shudder go through them both and Arthur spun him around quickly. Dizzy, he almost didn’t see the king swoop in for a deep kiss that left them both breathless. He didn’t need to read his friend’s emotions to know that he was ecstatic; the hands that held him tight, the expression on his face, said it all.

Arthur had just lifted him up a bit to carry him to the bed when a loud knock brought Merlin right back to reality. There was a world outside that bedroom door, a place where more than just _Merlin_ and _Arthur_ lived. They were back to manservant and king and he flushed in embarrassment. “I did say we had things to do,” he said, surprised at how husky his voice sounded.

A faint growl escaped the king. “They can wait.”

“They...probably really can’t,” he said with a laugh, watching in amusement as Arthur’s head hung down in defeat.

Merlin slid away from the wall to at least make the temptation for them both not so great, but he could still feel those blue eyes following his every movement. “This isn’t over.”

_No, I really don’t think it is,_ he thought as Arthur straightened his clothing and left.

~*~

The familiar dream of Gwen becoming queen was gone. She hadn’t had it for several weeks, but it didn’t bring her comfort, because now she was haunted by something else entirely and somehow it was worse. Bad enough that her manservant would have taken her place. Now she dreamed of Arthur, ageless, on the throne as time passed around him but didn’t touch him. He was regal, elegant, and fair, something she had never associated with him before.

But how was this possible? Morgana could tell which dreams predicted the future and what didn’t and this was one of the prophetic ones, but it didn’t make sense. It felt like she was seeing just snippets here and there, never getting the full picture. She had to _know._

Her eyes fell on the bracelet Morgause had given her. She wore it religiously, but it tamped down on most of the visions that caused her restless sleep. She didn’t care about what harm she could do, she had to know, so she pulled it off and turned her to spellbooks. She would stay asleep until she found her answers!

An hour later she had taken her potion and settled in her bed, determined to see this prophetic dream to its end...and perhaps determine why she had such trouble in the first place with it. The one with Gwen had always played out beginning to end; why did this one stop and start constantly?

As always in her dreams, she felt herself standing just to the side of everything, watching what was going on but an invisible being to those she observed. The palace was just as she remembered it and she longed to reach out and take the throne in the great room, but her feet felt stuck to the floor. As she watched, Arthur emerged from a side door and settled down. He was speaking to a crowd, but to her, what he said was distorted. She couldn’t understand anything they said and her eyes narrowed in confusion.

Soon it felt like everything around Arthur began to blur a little. People faded in and out and she knew that it was telling her years were going by because she could see others leaving and returning, seeing those that stayed in the palace age and then disappear...but Arthur didn’t change. The castle’s decorations disappeared and reappeared in different forms, but not the king.

_Yes, I know all this_ , she thought angrily, willing the dream to move on quickly, but it paid no heed to her command. Morgana struggled to move her legs, but they remain rooted to the spot. It was almost making her dizzy, how many blurry people came and went. Amidst it all, Arthur finally moved and stood up. _Finally_!

Yet he merely turned, long cape shifting with him to look to the side and her eyes widened in pure shock. Arthur was smiling, watching as _Merlin_ approached, looking just as Morgana had always known him. How could he-- A feeling of dread swept through her. She had known that Emrys would be her undoing. She had known he was more powerful than she without a doubt. But what if…

The king and his manservant, dressed in simple but fine clothing, shared a kiss and as Morgana watched, dumbfounded, Merlin turned and stared right into her eyes. She saw his eyes glow gold--

Morgana gasped as she flung herself from the bed, slamming into a rickety table and sending glass flying everywhere. Merlin! Merlin was the key! Merlin was a sorcerer! Not just any, but he had to be Emrys! She knew of no sorcerer more powerful than he and she had…

She felt panic grip her. She had done this. She would rather have Gwen on the throne, but instead, her spell had tied Arthur to _Emrys_ , the one that would kill her. Her spies had told her that the wedding had been called off, but no one had said anything about Arthur bedding his manservant, so something must have been done. _Merlin_ must have done something to her spell and whatever happened had changed something in Arthur, something that gave him life beyond his own.

Tied Arthur’s to Merlin’s perhaps? Her panic switched to rage and she dragged herself up with a snarl. No, she would not let this stand. He may not die of old age, but she was certain he could be killed and she would have him dead. One way or another, it would be over, and if she took Arthur and his dearest Emrys with her, then all the better!

  



	7. Chapter 7

“So.”

Merlin blinked and looked at Arthur lying next to him. “What?”

The king rolled onto his side and braced himself on his elbow, studying the man he loved. “Are you going to make me ask you?”

“Ask me what?”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes because he could feel Merlin’s confusion. Everything from Merlin’s emotions had been a pleasant daze, even just lying next to him in his bed, and Arthur didn’t think it occurred to him that he could have more. It should have irritated him, but in truth, he merely felt sad that Merlin was so used to having so little that he no longer gave much consideration to his own wants. So he pulled off his mother’s ring and slipped it on Merlin’s finger without a word.

Blue eyes widened as Merlin immediately understood what he meant and sat up. “Arthur, are you serious?”

“Yes,” he told him, wrapping his arm around his partner’s clothed waist and tugging him to rest against his chest.

“But... _why_?”

“Why do I want to marry you? I thought it was fairly obvious.”

“B-But...”

Arthur sighed. “I love you, Merlin, and I don’t care what anyone says, or what any law says, I will marry you...provided you agree, of course.”

He felt awkwardness swamp him and an adorable blush had formed over Merlin’s cheeks. “If it’s because...I mean...”

Another wave of embarrassment hit him and he realized what Merlin was suggesting. It took an amazing amount of willpower to neither blush nor hit his manservant for the comment. “No! It’s not just because of that!” He shifted a bit and added, “I’m not going to take you to my bed until we’re married, true, but it’s not because of that that I want to get married!”

“...Oh.” Merlin studied the ring. “Then I guess I will.”

“You guess? You could at least act less put upon that a king asked you to marry him,” he teased.

“But it’s a prat king, and I think I’d be doing _you_ a favor more than me.”

“Now you’re going to pay for that comment,” he told him and was about to retaliate only for a sudden darkness to engulf his room. It was the middle of the day and yet it was almost pitch black. “Merlin, what’s happening?”

He could barely see his partner slide from his arms and stand. “I don’t know,” he said slowly, making his way to the window.

His door burst open and Gwaine stumbled in frantically with his sword drawn. “Princess?! Merlin?!”

“We’re here,” Arthur grunted, getting to his feet and reaching Excalibur despite the fact that there didn’t seem to be any threat, just darkness, as if the sun had been blotted out. There was hardly any light, not even moonlight. The rest of the knights piled in right after Gwaine, but his eyes were trained on Merlin’s back as he looked at the sky from the window.

“Merlin, what is this?”

At Percival’s question, Merlin turned around in surprise stared at them silently. He looked all knowing, but Arthur was swamped with nothing short of panic, followed quickly by self-castigation, as if he was expecting himself to know because they were looking at him for answers. The crescendo of emotions was getting worse and he quickly hurried to his partner, grabbing his arm tightly to get his attention.

“Merlin, calm down! Breathe!” The torrent of emotion stopped rising, at least. “We’re not expecting you to know everything. Don’t panic!” He turned to the rest of the knights just as Gaius appeared. “I think we can safely assume that whatever this is, Morgana is behind it.”

“Not necessarily,” Merlin told him, yet added reluctantly, “but I don’t know of anyone else that would have both the talent and the interest in doing...whatever this is. It’s not like what she did to the castle before, when everyone went to sleep since we’re all awake.”

“This is very powerful magic,” Gaius said in concern and his voice seemed like it had aged ten years. “Only high priestesses of the old religion had the ability to affect things like the weather, or someone with great power like Merlin. To block the sun—”

“How do we know she’s blocking the sun?” Merlin argued. “What if it’s not blocking the sun, but a darkness spell? That would be easier, right? Is it possible that she just engulfed the castle in that instead?”

“It does seem more likely,” the healer hedged. “I’m just not sure what the purpose of either spell would be.”

Arthur felt a certain sense of dread coming from his partner, who turned to a nearby candle and whispered something. A flame appeared on the wick, but it didn’t seemed put out any light. Even when Merlin hovered his hand over it, he could barely see his fingers. The darkness that surrounded them was like ink. “Does it have to have a greater purpose than what it does?” Arthur pointed out. “It’s so dark here that if she was careful, she could walk right in here and we could barely see her. If we can’t see her, she could kill any of us.”

“Isn’t that a little...blunt?” Elyan asked in confusion. “After all she’s done, her elaborate plans--”

“She’s probably desperate,” Merlin said quietly. “The spell she cast on Arthur, and me to some extent, was meant to ruin his life...but Morgana has the gift of prophecy. What if she saw something in a dream? What if what I did to the spell, and our bond, rewrote everything she was expecting and she likes that outcome even less than something she saw before? She’s tried elaborate plans, subtle ones, powerful spells and they all _fail_. If you saw something that frightened you to death and everything else you tried before didn’t work, wouldn’t you go for the most direct approach after that in sheer desperation?”

“You feel sorry for her,” Arthur commented, feeling a sense of empathy and sadness. It wasn’t as if he didn’t, because he did. He never wanted Morgana harmed and he didn’t want to now, but she left him no choice most of the time.

“Of course. Being able to see the future is a terrible burden and most nights she didn’t sleep. Then when she found out that it was magic, what was happening, she realized that other people had had to have known what was happening to her and didn’t tell her. So betrayal upon hardship, even if the secrecy was for her benefit. She’s clinging to the only thing she has left and that’s a sense of righteousness that she should rule Camelot after all she’s suffered and the people she’s lost. It doesn’t justify what she’s done...but it’s understandable.”

“It’s so nice that you’re being so understanding, Emrys.”

The silky, feminine voice sent an almost lightning shock to him, as between the darkness and his focus on Merlin, he hadn’t realized someone else had stepped into the open doorway. As Arthur squinted to see, the knights spun to face her, but Morgana lifted her pale hand and the shadows shifted as if they had gone flying. There was just enough light to see that Elyan slammed into his armoire, Leon flipped over his bed and onto the stone floor near him, and he didn’t see what happened to Percival and Gwaine. He e didn’t sense anyone moving and feared that didn’t mean the worst. Where was Gaius?

“No, none of that now,” Morgana said, looking to her right and there was a heavy thump. Merlin was still next to him so that had to be the physician. “Better, just the three of us like old times.” There was the sound of metal scraping along the floor as she approached, so she must have a sword in her hand underneath that ragged cloak.

“Morgana--”

“Do you really think anything you have to say is going to make a difference?” she interrupted him and he could feel Merlin’s brief panic before a shock of calm. He looked at the mostly shadow next to him. He was a trained warrior and he had adrenaline pumping through him, so how could Merlin be so serene next to him?

Even if he couldn’t see it, Arthur reacted just in time for his sword to meet hers and it had a surprising amount of force to it, more than he would have expected, given what he could see of her condition. Even in the darkness, with it being so close, he could see how her wrists seemed almost emaciated.

Merlin spoke next to him, that language he assumed was magic, and some of the pressure on his sword lessened. Morgana’s and his eyes were glowing gold and he knew there was some magical struggle going on. It would be simple, with her attention mostly on Merlin, to run her through, but he just couldn’t make himself do it. “Morgana, please stop this.”

“Why, Arthur? _Why should I_? You’re planning on repealing the ban on magic because you know Merlin is a mage now? So? You think that’s going to make up for all the atrocities that Uther did to my people?! Or are you forgetting when your precious Emrys poisoned me and killed my sister?”

“You were going to kill everyone!” Merlin argued with her fiercely.

“And your precious Arthur! Don’t pretend you cared about anyone in this castle beyond him! You would have let them all die if it meant that Arthur would be safe!”

“That’s not true!” Morgana suddenly went flying, landing against the edge of his bed, but she recovered surprisingly quickly. Before Arthur could react, Merlin was standing in front of him and hissing at his half-sister in anger, “I care about everyone in this castle and I even cared about you until you betrayed us and killed so many people!”

“Let’s not pretend any of us are good people, shall we? I know all your petty motives. Arthur wants power, Merlin wants to be in his bed, and I want my rightful place on the throne.” Morgana only laughed bitterly and her sword seemed to almost be bright on its own since he could see the blade just fine...just like he could he see Excalibur’s. “That’s--”

“A blade forged in dragon fire, yes! And this _will_ kill you, Arthur.”

Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin’s waist and yanked him back into his chest just in time to swing his sword in front of them both to block the blade. How had she become so twisted? She saw only evil, only the basest motivations, when she had always been able to perceive the most complicated of acts for what they were.

Merlin heatedly spoke again in the language of what he assumed was magic and Morgana went flying, this time pressed against the wall and sword dropping from her hand. “You won’t stop both of us, Morgana, and you know it. In fact...why are you even here? You’re in the middle of the castle, surrounded by soldiers. Even if you succeeded, what were you planning on doing?”

“Taking you with me!”

The sword flew through the air, propelled by magic, and Arthur reacted before he could help it. He spun them around so the sword would hit his back and he braced himself. He hissed as he felt it slice against his skin, but it didn’t run him through like he was expecting. Instead, as he turned to peer through the darkness, there was a grunt and the darkness was suddenly lifted. He blinked and hissed in pain at the sudden daylight flooding the room.

Morgana slid down the wall, impaled by her own sword and he looked at Merlin, who stared at her expressionlessly. There was a roil of emotions he could feel from his partner and he knew that soon he’d have a breakdown over what he’d done. “Merlin?”

“It’s over. It’s...finally over.”

A groan from his left indicated at least of the knights had come out of their stupor and he was able to spot Gaius lying on the floor near the door. Percival was getting up and stumbling over to him, but he didn’t seem hurt. In fact, looking them all over, none of the knights or Gaius were injured in any way. Morgana hadn’t come for them and she hadn’t hurt them, beyond what she did to get them out of the way to her ultimate goal: Arthur and Merlin.

“I’m sorry.” The soft whisper caught his attention and he pulled Merlin into an actual hug, ignoring the stinging of his back. “I didn’t want to.”

“I know,” he reassured him, feeling Merlin’s sense of fear and dread. “I don’t think of you any differently than before.” His guess of what was causing the emotions turned out to be right because they eased significantly. As Merlin buried his face in Arthur’s shoulder, the king nodded at the door to his knights. They took the hint, picking up the still unconscious Gaius and stepping out the room.

Arthur looked at Morgana and he couldn’t help but marvel that her expression in death was surprisingly peaceful. “At least she won’t be tormented anymore,” he sighed.

“Are we going to have a funeral for her?”

“Yes,” he said staunchly. “What happened to her was not her fault, even if her actions were terrible. And she was my sister.”

He could feel Merlin’s relief, but didn’t comment on it. “Your back--”

“Is fine.”

“It’s not. We have to clean the wound so it won’t get infected.”

“Later, Merlin.” But almost immediately he felt the stinging lessen and he glanced at annoyance to his fiance. “Merlin--”

“Just a little, so you don’t hurt as much,” he defended.

Before he could argue, Leon lightly knocked on the door before cracking it open just a little and asking quietly, “Sire, what should we do with Morgana?”

“We will have a funeral for her, a cremation.” It wasn’t that he didn’t want to bury her, but he had enough contact with sorcerers to know there were as many good as bad ones and he didn’t want someone to resurrect her back into a life that had hurt her so much. It might not be possible, but he wasn’t willing to take the chance that it was.

“Yes, sir.”

They watched in silence as Leon opened the door wider and a few guards came in and picked up Morgana. Merlin’s eyes glowed just a little and the sword slid from her body to drop onto the floor. Arthur gave a sharp look at the guards, but while their eyes had widened at the display, they showed no other reaction. He could feel the exhaustion from Merlin, how he no longer cared enough at that moment to hide his talents.

As soon as they were alone, Arthur steered Merlin to the bed and pushed him down. “Sleep, Merlin.”

“But--”

“ _Sleep_.”

As if he could no longer keep his eyes open, Merlin slipped off into what Arthur hoped was a dreamless rest. He had no hope of that for himself, so he just sat on the edge of the bed and tried to get his mind to stop racing. Morgana was gone. He remembered her from his childhood, the way she smiled so brightly and with no artifice. She had always pushed him to be better than he thought he was and Merlin had only continued that when he’d come into his life.

Then she had become what he feared that he himself might be and all he could do was work to be that better man she had always said he could be, as if that would somehow stop her cruel actions and return her to the way she had been.

Arthur reached out and held Merlin’s lax hand for any sense of comfort. Merlin was still there with him, and he would understand more than anyone why he mourned so deeply. The rest of Camelot might not, even the knights might not, and others might argue about giving her proper respect in death...but Merlin would understand and that was all he really needed.

~*~

Merlin watched Arthur from a window as the king trained the knights, feeling a hunger stir in his belly for the man, but he tried to calm himself down. They were going to wait and the wedding was only a month away. They could wait. As if he could sense it, Arthur looked up right where he was standing and smirked at him, and Merlin rolled his eyes.

Their bond had grown in the past nine months and without any of Merlin’s magical pushing. Arthur’s ability to read his emotions had increased and had become so strong that he was able to actually tell where Merlin was in the entire palace. Merlin’s felt more controversial with the king because he could feel the wounds and physical activity more, to the point that he could pinpoint how deep a wound went and what damage had been done...and how badly. Not to mention, he could tell how much Arthur was holding back, so he at least knew that it wasn’t just himself that wanted it so badly.

No one besides Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, and the knights had come to Morgana’s funeral just outside the city walls, but Arthur hadn’t seemed upset about it. He’d seemed calm, the hand holding his firm but not tight. At peace, almost, and that was rare for the usually animated king.

Arthur no longer woke him up as much with thrashing from nightmares and he no longer had to reassure Merlin that he didn’t think he was a murderer. They both had their bouts still occasionally, but not nearly as often. Whatever Morgana intended, she had left indelible scars behind...but it didn’t define them. Their emotional wounds had settled, were no longer quite as raw as they had been, and they would continue to live.

He chuckled as he felt Arthur get a bruise on his arm when Leon took the opening Arthur’s inattention had given him, and he walked away from the window leisurely. His feet took him out of the palace and to the edge of the forest. Merlin considered calling Kilgharrah and Aithusa, but decided against it. Let them continue to rest. Aithusa’s condition had been terrible when they’d found the young dragon and even nine months later, he was still recovering.

“What are you doing out here alone?”

“I knew you’d follow me sooner or later,” Merlin commented, looking over his shoulder at Arthur.

“I see. You just wanted to make the king come to your call then.”

He grinned as Arthur wrapped his arm around them and kissed him deeply. He couldn’t help the shudder that went down his spine as calloused hands eased down his back to his rear. “Rethinking your decision about ‘only after marriage’?” he teased as their lips slowly broke apart.

“Stop feeling so smug, you. I won’t break. If I didn’t break and bed you when I had a spell forcing me, I won’t without it...even though I’d _really_ like to.” Merlin laughed and watched as an answering smile appear on the king’s face. “Only you can bring this king to his knees just by _laughing_.”

“Why’s that?”

Arthur didn’t say anything at first before he tugged them both to sit on the grass, enjoying the lazy breeze ruffle their hair. “Because your laughter _feels_ happy and for a long time, all I felt from you was stress, worry, and fear. When I could feel your emotions for the first time, I realized that you were probably never happy that much.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because all the expressions I saw for years before were the same...but the emotions were anxiety, terror even. For months, all I felt was your worry bombarding me. Lately, though… Your laughter, I can _feel_ the happiness behind it, and that’s all I want. I want to feel that happiness.”

Merlin watched as Arthur flushed a little because he couldn’t hide his awe of the king and the depth of his feelings for _him_ , a mere sorcerer and former manservant. “You don’t think feeling my emotions all the time is a burden?”

“No more than you feeling my sensations is a burden to you,” he said. “If I’m honest, I can’t imagine going back. Even if there was a way to reverse it, I wouldn’t want to.”

He smiled slowly at that and chuckled when the king settled on his back with his head in Merlin’s lap. It seemed overly romantic, but he knew that it was nothing to do with romance; instead, it just showed him how much Arthur trusted him. He was completely vulnerable like this, even with his chainmail still on, and he was trusting Merlin to protect him.

The trust in his abilities meant more to him than a thousand declarations of love and he ran his fingers through the soft blonde hair. “I love you, Arthur,” he whispered.

“I know.” Arthur’s eyes slipped closed. “And I love you too.”

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if it sucks, but I wasn't sure how to do the climax of the story...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here't the epilogue. I'm fascinated by this premise and I might write more in this vein if there's enough interest.

“I really hate you.”

Merlin grinned and laughed right in Arthur’s face. “Oh, come on.”

“Do you realize how _long_ it’s been since I’ve worn any of this stuff? It’s _heavy_!” the man griped.

“Just remember you’re doing it for the children.”

Arthur took a deep breath and reminded himself instead that if he had been married to Merlin for over seven hundred years and hadn’t killed him yet, he could survive this. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”

Merlin only beamed at him and looked around the corridor as they headed for the throne room. The torches were back, but only because the sorcerer had insisted it be properly retrofitted for the celebration day of Camelot’s eight hundredth birthday. The staff had done a marvelous job at concealing the modern light fixtures that had been long in place as technology evolved. Merlin had even convinced him to wear his old armor, cape, and crown.

“Are you really opposed to this?”

He blinked at Merlin’s concern and shook his head. Some things never changed. “No, Merlin. It’s just it’s been a very long time since then. When I look at how the palace is right now, it looks almost identical to back then and it just reminds me of how much we’ve lost and how much we still have. And how much has changed.”

When they’d first realized that Arthur and Merlin weren’t aging correctly, there had been a flurry of fear and searching. It had been Aithusa, not Kilgharrah, that had told them not to worry. Their lives had been intertwined since that spell, since what had happened, and they would never be apart again. Even in death, if one of them died, the other would follow.

At first he’d thought of it as a blessing...then a curse as he watched all his friends, all his knights, age and die. First Gaius and then one by one until all that was left was Leon...and he’d passed too with a smile on his face. Arthur had been terrible to live with after that, and all he could do was admire how Merlin stood there and gave him support as he grappled with the idea that he’d never have friends that could stay with him. He’d gone through a phase where he refused to get close to anyone, to care about anyone other than Merlin, because he could still feel the hurt at every death.

But he’d moved past that to accepting it for what it was. It was neither a curse nor a blessing. It was just what existed between them. Merlin, the most powerful sorcerer, and his love kept his king from death. Arthur credited Merlin’s presence that he hadn’t gone mindless over the years; if he’d been alone…

“We don’t have to do this.”

Arthur smiled at Merlin and shook his head. “Of course we do. You promised them.” The throne room had been styled back to the way it was in his youth, even pulling out the curtains and drapes that had once hung in the large hall. All the large windows that they had put in, almost floor to ceiling, were open to catch both the breeze and let in a flood of sunlight.

As soon as he came into view, he heard the tons of clicking of cameras. The hall was packed with children and their parents wanting to see the king outside of his usual suit and in something far more medieval. Reporters hung at the back of the hall and there were more video cameras than he thought he’d ever seen in one place.

Excalibur’s weight at his hip was reassuring even after all these many years. They had moved into the future with the rest of the world, but he couldn’t deny this soothed a sense of nostalgia he’d always had for the past. Even with the police and his bodyguards, he couldn’t help but still call them knights. Everyone always laughed at him, at least those closest to him did, because some things would never change.

“Thank you for coming here to celebrate Camelot’s eight hundredth birthday,” he said with a welcoming smile and the hall slowly quieted of the chatter. The sound of cars outside broke into the atmosphere a bit, but Arthur didn’t mind it. He rather liked that it kept him centered, reminding him _when_ they lived, more than the cellphones and tv cameras did.

“When I was born, I could never imagine what the world would become,” he said honestly. “Back then, I had just assumed that we were at the peak of civilization and there could be nothing higher...but I was proven wrong. But it is the people of Camelot that have truly surprised me of all: you have heartily embraced the future while allowing us to remember our past. You are the true gem of this kingdom—country,” he added with a bit of embarrassment and causing a smattering of laughter.

“Camelot has gone through many trials,” he said, thinking of Morgana with the fondness and calmness that only time could provide, “and we have weathered them all. We are _still here_. And it is by your sufferance of me that I remain your king. I hope that I will once again prove my worth to you for the next hundred years, and I look forward to whatever that will bring!”

At that moment what sounded like fireworks lit off, but none would be so bright if it weren’t for Merlin’s magic. The sorcerer came into view and all the children cheered in delight. He couldn’t help but smile at his partner. If Arthur was loved, Merlin was adored. In truth, Arthur thought it was _Merlin_ was the true jewel of Camelot, but he dared not say it aloud for fear of being laughed at as a hopelessly in love fool.

“Time to celebrate!” Merlin said and the huge doors to the room opened. The children rushed out with squeals of happiness and ignored their parents yelling at them to not run as they headed down into the courtyard and surrounding area to take advantage of the games and other entertainment that had been provided.

His arm slid around Merlin’s waist without having to worry about being seeing by cameras. Everyone knew about their marriage and most accepted it. Those that didn’t had long since left Camelot. “By the end of the celebration, I’m going to be exhausted,” he said with a smile. “You sure three days isn’t too much?”

“You say that _every time_.”

“Okay, next time _you_ be the king that has his schedule packed with interviews and appearances and events so there’s no time to even take a bathroom break and tell me it’s not exhausting.”

“Seven hundred years and you still complain.”

“Seven hundred years and you still rag on me.”

Merlin grinned at him. “Remember, I’m just the manservant.”

“You were a _terrible_ manservant,” he reflected.

“I know. Now come on!”

Merlin tugged him out of the throne room and palace into the courtyard and Arthur spotted Kilgarrah and Aithusa, as well as three baby dragons, sitting on the parapets. The dragons were slowly coming back, but all that were there were at the celebration. They lived for ages, eons, and as such, it took a very long to repopulate.

Despite their attempt to retrofit the palace and streets to be more like the past, there was no hiding some things like the streetlights, cars, and stoplights. People had been encouraged to not drive for the next three days because so many others were walking and spending their time in the streets that traffic would be a nightmare. As it always did, some still refused to stop, but whenever they complained, most everyone shrugged away the concern.

But this was the first year that Merlin had actually wanted the palace to _look_ like it had. He had even worn clothing tailored to look like his old clothes, so at least Arthur wasn’t feeling awkward all by himself. After hundreds of years being out of armor, he felt a little self-conscious wearing it again.

The only thing that they had not been able to have were children of their own...but Merlin had taken to considering all the children of Camelot his children and Arthur couldn’t really argue with him on that. These people _were_ his family and he was sworn to protect them all.

A young girl no older than four ran toward him and he picked her up easily, listening to her giggle with glee, now able to see over the millions of legs in the crowded courtyard. She waved at her parents, who shook their heads, but didn’t hurry over. It couldn’t help making him feel pleasantly happy at the thought that almost all of those in Camelot trusted him.

It did little to help his bodyguards relax, but they had given up keeping Arthur from wading into crowds. He wouldn’t be shepherded away from his people and he could defend himself if necessary. It didn’t even take into account that he had the most powerful sorcerer in the world protecting him.

“How long do you think Camelot will last?” he asked Merlin, setting the girl down as she gestured toward a game she wanted to play.

“As long as you do,” Merlin told him, radiating a contentment that had only emerged in the last hundred years or so.

“You put too much faith in me,” he told him, wrapping his arm around his waist again, one of his favorite activities as they meandered through the crowds and talked with people, followed by his guards nearby.

“You don’t put enough in yourself. If I don’t do it, who will?”

As they came to the edge of the courtyard and turned to watch the people, Arthur smiled. “Thank you for convincing me to do this. I...missed seeing what it was like. We’ll continue on with time, changing to meet the future...but I don’t ever want to forget this past.”

“A tradition then,” Merlin said. “Every one-hundred years, in honor of the past and the people that helped us get here. For Gaius, Gwen, Percival, Gwaine, Leon, and Elyan. For even Morgana and Uther.”

Each name hit him in the chest and he sighed. “Yes. For them all.”

All at once fireworks exploded in the air without any being fired again, startling and awing the people. Whether they knew it was Merlin’s magic or not Arthur didn’t know...but he knew that those were for him.

“To the next hundred years,” he said to his partner, who only smiled at him with love.

  



End file.
